Dentist Jokes

I went to see my dentist the other day but she was on vacation.

There was a locum filling in.

I asked the dentist what the cavity procedure would entail.

He said, “Let me fill you in.”

Whoever invented dentures missed out on calling them …

Substitooths.

Wanted: Someone to brush their teeth with me.

Because 9/10 dentists say brushing alone won’t prevent tooth decay.

No weirdos.

Dentist: “When was the last time you flossed?”

Shaking my head. “Dude, you were there!”

I was on a train and this woman opposite looked at me and said, “Everytime you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place…”

I asked, “Are you single?”

She replied, “No, I’m a dentist.”

My dentist is a really mean guy.

He always hurts my fillings.

What do dentists call x-rays?

Tooth pics.

My dentist told me, “This might hurt a little bit. Are you ready?”

I said, “Yes, I’m ready.”

He said, “I’m sleeping with your wife.”

As a dentist, I only get paid for each prosthetic implant I complete.

Nothing dentured, nothing gained.

I had to change dentists.

The last one hurt my fillings.

What do you call a dinosaur that takes care of its teeth?

A Flossiraptor.

I walked into the dentist’s and said, “I think I’m a moth.”

The dentist said, “I don’t think you should be here. You need to see a psychiatrist.”

I said, “I am seeing a psychiatrist.”

He said, “What are you doing here then?”

I said, “The light was on.”

Two reasons why it’s so difficult to solve redneck murders:

1. All the DNA is the same.

2. There are no dental records.