Ghost Bagel
What did the ghost put on his bagel?
Scream cheese.
Cheese Jokes
If you like cheesy humor then this collection of funny cheese jokes and puns is sure to drive you crackers with laughter!
Cheese Wheel
What do you call a wheel of cheese that you throw to someone else?
A fris-brie.
Cheese Shredder
My wife loves it when I shred cheese.
I always do a grate job.
Space Station Cheese
What do you call cheese that accidentally escapes the International Space Station?
Space de Brie.
Cottage Cheese
I had a hard time figuring out why I don’t consider cottage cheese truly “cheese”.
But it’s just a curd to me.
Sandwich Buyer
I said to the woman at the deli, “I’d like to buy a ham and cheese baguette with pickles.”
She said, “Sorry, we only take cash or card.”
Sausage Shortage
Due to the global pandemic, Germany is running out of sausages and cheese.
The government considers this to be the Wurst Käse scenario.
Say What?
In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him.
To be fair though, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him.
Bagel With Cream Cheese
I went to a deli and said, “I’d like to buy a bagel with cream cheese.”
The kid behind the counter said, “Sorry we only take cash or credit cards.”
Mirror Cheese
What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?
Halloumi.
Road Walker
Walking down the road last night, I passed an apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.
I thought to myself, “The streets are strangely desserted tonight.”
Cheese Music
What is the favorite music of cheese?
R ‘N’ Brie.
Mouse House
What did the mouse use to build his house?
Cottage cheese.
Cheesy!
What do you call a row of people lifting mozzarella?
A cheesy pick up line.
Mary Poppins Restaurant
I ate at the Mary Poppins Restaurant last night.
Super cauliflower cheese but the lobster was atrocious.
Cheese Trucks
Two cheese trucks ran into each other.
De brie was everywhere.
Shredded Cheese
Donald Trump is going to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese if he becomes president.
He wants to make America grate again.
Cheese Thrower
Someone threw cheese at me.
Real mature!
