Bank Manager
My bank manager doesn’t give my business ideas the credit they deserve.
Business Jokes
These hilarious business jokes are the real deal! You’ll be in good company laughing at them!
Jewellery Business
I’m planning on starting a jewellery business.
If you want to help, give me a ring.
Tree Sap Business
My tree sap collection business is going great.
Just opened up another branch.
Coal Company
My father owned a coal company, but mostly kept it to himself.
Mined his own business.
Advertising Company
It was a big surprise when the advertising company went out of business.
No one saw the signs.
Recycled Chewing Gum
I’m starting a new business recycling discarded chewing gum.
I just need some help getting it off the ground.
Twitter Purchase
Now that Elon Musk has bought Twitter and laid off half the staff, he’s planning on buying YouTube and Facebook and doing the same with them.
To save even more money, he plans on merging the three companies into one.
He’s going to call it YouTwitFace.
Mexican Amazon
Who runs Mexican Amazon?
Jeff Pesos.
Islam And Capitalism
What do you get if you cross Islam and capitalism?
No more jokes about the profit.
Baggage Check
I fly often for business. Yesterday, I had three bags to check.
I said, “I’d like this bag to go to New Orleans, this one to Seattle, and the third to Chicago.”
The gate agent rolled her eyes and said, “We can’t do that!”
I said, “Why not? You did it last week.”
Bonsai Business
My friend had a business selling bonsai trees.
He was so successful he had to move into smaller premises!
Joint Business
What would Wonder Woman and Spider-Man name their business?
Amazon Web Services.
Vampire Hunting Business
I bought 75% of shares in a vampire hunting business.
I’m the main stakeholder.
Flight Company
I’m starting a flight company exclusively for bald people. I’ll call it…
Receding airlines.
Natural Fertilizer Company
I started my own all natural fertilizer company recently.
I guess that makes me an entremanure!
Shoe Store
I finally was able to open my shoe store for only large sized shoes.
Let me tell you, it was no small feet.
Lion And Witch
I saw a man pushing a lion and a witch into a wardrobe.
I asked, “What are you doing?”
He replied, “Go away, it’s Narnia business.”
IKEA CEO
The CEO of IKEA was just elected president in Sweden.
He should have his cabinet together by the end of the week.
Hanging Baskets
My business making and selling hanging baskets has just gone bust.
It’s sad really, they looked great with Pansies, Lobelias and Marigolds. Sadly, no Fuchsia in it.
Office Security Guard
My boss told me that as a security guard, it’s my job to watch the office.
I’m on season 6 now but I’m not really sure what it’s got to do with security.
Shipping Magnate
If someone makes their fortune in ships, we call them a shipping magnate.
If someone makes their fortune in oil, we call them an oil magnate.
What do you call someone who makes their fortune selling fridges?
Ribbon Repair Business
A lot of people were confused at the grand opening ceremony of my ribbon-repair business yesterday!
Successful Business
I started a business building yachts in my attic.
Sails are through the roof.
Lip Reading Business
I don’t advertise my lip reading business.
It’s all word of mouth.
Cloning Business
I quit my job to start a cloning business and it’s been great.
I love being my own boss.
Liquidation
My friend’s fruit and vegetable business has gone into liquidation.
He now sells smoothies.
Tarot Card Reader
My wife has started her own business reading Tarot cards.
She’s making a fortune.
Small Items Only
I’ve started a business where I weigh tiny objects.
It’s a small scale operation.
Cheap Drinks
A guy walks into a bar and orders the finest Scotch.
The bartender pours him the drink and passes it to him saying, “That will be $2, Sir.”
The guy says, “Woah, that’s really cheap. You’re good people; I want to thank your manager. Where is he?”
The bartender replies, “In the hotel room, Sir, with my wife.”
The guy asks, “What’s he doing with your wife?”
“The same thing I’m doing with his business.”
Bakery Business
My friend’s bakery caught fire and burned to the ground last night.
Now his business is toast.
