Tour Bus
Sad to hear The Who’s old tour bus has finally broken down for good.
It won’t get fuelled again.
Bus Jokes
You’re in for a fun ride with these hilarious bus jokes and puns! All aboard, next stop is laughter!
Egyptian Underworld
What did the Egyptians use to travel to the Underworld?
A new bus.
Bus Mathematicians
How do 37 mathematicians board a bus with only 36 seats?
They carry the one.
Bus Driver Quit
I used to be a bus driver but I had to quit.
I was fed up of people talking behind my back.
Bad Bus Driver
That’s the 10th passenger today who’s called me a terrible bus driver.
I don’t know where these people get off.
Dream Job
I got my dream job today. I get my own 200 thousand dollar company car and a corner window with a view of the city…
Being a city bus driver is a dream come true.
Bus Timetables
I know an awful lot about bus timetables.
I’ve led a sheltered life.
It Could Have Been Me
I was crossing the street when I suddenly noticed my ex getting run over by a bus.
I thought to myself, “Wow! That could have been me!”
Then I remembered I can’t drive a bus.
Lobster And Bus Station
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breasts?
One’s a crusty bus station, the other’s a busty crustacean.
Gave Up Seat
I gave up my seat on the bus for a blind person.
And that’s how I lost my job as a bus driver.
Thrown Under A Bus
I told my friend I saw a man get thrown under a bus today.
He said, “Oh my God – was it moving?”
I said, “Well a few people were crying, but I was fine.”
Waiting For A Bus
A guy is walking down the street one day when he spots a man with no arms or legs waiting at a bus stop.
He shouts out to him, “Hey buddy, how are you getting on?”
Ugly Baby
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says, “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her, “The driver just insulted me.”
The man says, “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
