Funny Short Jokes Archives

My granddad asked me how to print on his computer.

I told him it’s Ctrl-P.

He said he hasn’t been able to do that for ages.

Dad jokes are important.

They are a big part of pop culture.

Funny Dad Jokes

Father’s Day Jokes

My son told me, “The car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume.”

I said, “That’s sound advice.”

A small meteorite is reportedly headed for Legoland.

The damage is expected to be 50 square blocks.

What is the favorite music of cheese?

R ‘N’ Brie.

I do really feel bad for the Class of 2020. People say your senior year flies.

I just didn’t realise it would Zoom.

You know, with everything that’s happening so far in 2020…

You’d think someone would have seen it coming.

My old next door neighbor and I were good friends, so we decided to share our water supply.

We got a long well.

I’m making a new documentary on how to fly a plane.

We’re currently filming the pilot.

In exactly 3030 years, there’s a chance things could be really good, and there’s a chance things could be really bad.

I guess it will be 5050.

I just want to give a shout out to sidewalks.

For keeping me off the streets.

To the person who stole my selfie stick…

You need to take a long look at yourself.

SCUBA is an acronym for Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus. What you may not know is that Tuba is also an acronym.

For Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus.

How does a computer get drunk?

It takes screen shots.

I misplaced Dwayne Johnson’s cutting tool for the origami workshop.

I can’t believe I lost the Rock’s Paper Scissors.

My dad was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.

I have an uncle, once removed.

I recently started taking my paddle boat out on the lake.

I feel like canoe person.

I was waiting at the airport baggage carousel, and noticed that everyone else had a better bag than me.

It was… the worst case scenario.

All of my friends have such expansive bucket lists.

Mine is a little pail in comparison.

I was watching an Australian cooking show, and the audience applauded when the chef made a meringue.

I was surprised. Usually Australians boo meringue.

Funny Food Puns

Funny Food Quotes