Arr, matey, feast yer eyes on these bootiful pirate riddles with answers! They’re sure to have you hooked so see how many you can answer now! And don’t forget to check out our hilarious pirate jokes and puns too!
Pirate Riddles
How do you make a pirate angry?
Show answer
Take away the “p” and he becomes irate.
How do pirate captains talk to each other?
Show answer
Aye to aye.
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Show answer
Arrgh! Aye Matey! (Arrgh! I’m 80!)
Why don’t pirates shower before walking the plank?
Show answer
Because they’re just going to wash up on shore later.
Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?
Show answer
Because he was standing on the deck.
What do you call a pirate that skips class?
Show answer
Captain Hooky.
Where do you take a sick pirate ship?
Show answer
To the dock.
Why can’t a pirate ever finish the alphabet?
Show answer
Because he always gets lost at sea.
What’s a pirate’s favorite letter in the alphabet?
Show answer
Arr, matey.
What’s a pirate’s favorite basketball move?
Show answer
The hook shot.
What wears an eye patch and robs ships at night?
Show answer
A vampirate.
Why are pirates pirates?
Show answer
Because they just Arrrrr.
Where do pirates store their gym clothes?
Show answer
Davy Jones’ locker.
Which Star Wars character do pirates like the most?
Show answer
Aarrggh-2-D-2.
Where can you find a pirate’s bathroom?
Show answer
The poop deck.
What did the pirate say during the winter storm?
Show answer
Thar she snows.
Where do pirates keep their cookies?
Show answer
The cookie jarrrrr.
Why did the pirate give his ship a coat of paint?
Show answer
Its timbers were shivering.
What do pirates put on their toast?
Show answer
Jelly Roger.
Why couldn’t the little pirate get in to the pirate movie?
Show answer
It was rated “Aarrrrr.”
What’s a pirate’s favorite movie?
Show answer
Booty and the Beast.
What is a pirate’s favorite subject in school?
Show answer
Arrrrrrt.
What do pirates use to blow their noses?
Show answer
Anchor-chiefs.
Why can’t you take a picture of a pirate with a wooden leg?
Show answer
Because a wooden leg doesn’t take pictures.
What has eight legs, eight hands and eight eyes?
Show answer
Eight pirates.
Why are pirates such good fishermen?
Show answer
They have the best hooks.
What kind of makeup do pirate girls wear?
Show answer
Ship gloss.
What happened to the pirate ship that sank in the sea full of sharks?
Show answer
It came back with a skeleton crew.
Why did the pirate buy his earring at the dollar store?
Show answer
He only wanted to pay a buck an ear.
Why didn’t the pirate’s phone work?
Show answer
Because he left it off the hook.
What does a dyslexic pirate say?
Show answer
Raaaaaaa.
What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?
Show answer
A rookie.
Why are pirates great singers?
Show answer
They can hit the high C’s.
How do you save a drowning pirate?
Show answer
With C-P-ARRRRR.
What grades did the pirate get in school?
Show answer
High C’s.
What is a pirate’s favorite country?
Show answer
Arrrrrrgentina.
Which fish do pirates love the most?
Show answer
Swordfish.
What kind of diets do pirates go on?
Show answer
Low carrrrrb.
What are pirates afraid of?
Show answer
The darrrrrk.
Why did the pirate go on vacation?
Show answer
For arrrrrgh and arrrrrgh.
How did the pirate stop computer hackers?
Show answer
He installed a patch.
What kind of socks does a pirate wear?
Show answer
Arrrrrgyle.
What musical instruments do pirates play?
Show answer
The guitarrrrrr.
What exercise do pirates use to tighten their abs?
Show answer
Planks.
Where do pirates put their trash?
Show answer
The garrrrrbage can.
Why don’t pirates like to play golf?
Show answer
They keep hooking the ball.
Where do pirates park their ships?
Show answer
In the harrrbor.
Where do pirates go for their haircuts?
Show answer
To the barrrrber.
What’s a pirate’s favorite doll?
Show answer
Barrrrrbie.
What do pirates think happens at the end of time?
Show answer
Arrrrmageddon.
What game did the pirate’s parrot always want to play?
Show answer
Hide and speak.
What style of food do pirates like the most?
Show answer
Barrrr-B-Que.
How do pirates make their money?
Show answer
By hook or by crook.
What do pirates do for fun?
Show answer
Have parrrties.
Why was the pirate afraid of getting old?
Show answer
He might get arrrrthritus.
Riddles About Pirates
If you enjoyed these riddles about pirates, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more fun free riddles with answers, such as these:
