These funny PhD jokes and puns are a real lesson in humor! In fact, they’re in a class of their own! No need to doctor them, they get top marks just as they are!
Funny PhD Jokes
My socially anxious friend just got a PhD in palindrome studies.
I call him Dr. Awkward.
What is Dr. Pepper’s PhD in?
I have finished writing my PhD thesis on penguins.
In hindsight, I probably should have written it on paper.
I got a PhD in rap and washing clothes.
They call me Dr. LaunDré.
What do you call an owl with a PhD?
I have a friend who just finished her PhD in Botany.
Instead of math and statistics, her dissertation is full of pictures of exotic plants.
She sure has a lot of photos in thesis.
A Gen Z kid and a boomer walk into a bar.
They sit down and the Gen Z kid orders from the gluten free vegan menu and the boomer orders a T-Bone steak.
They start chatting and the Gen Z kid says that social justice issues are the biggest problem facing the world, and that the white supremacist patriarchy is a plague on society.
The boomer waves this off and says the kids these days are just too sensitive, and that he fought for civil rights in the sixties and did his part.
They go back and forth on this for a while, and finally the Gen Z kid says, “We’re just not gonna settle this. We don’t see eye to eye. You’re too old and out of touch and I’m too young and inexperienced. What we need to do is ask a Millennial with a PhD in sociology for their opinion.”
The boomer says, “That’s a great idea!” And yells, “HEY BARTENDER, C’MERE!”
Flight attendant: Do we have a doctor on board?
Me: I have a PhD in mathematics.
Flight attendant: one passenger is having a heart attack and one passenger is having an asthma attack.
Me: nodding that makes two.
I have a PhD in procrastin …
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer.
“I just completed my PhD in Scottish poetry,” he tells the bartender. “Now I’ve got third degree Burns.”
What do you call a cat with a PhD in Marine Biology?
What do you call a chili with a PhD?
Who is the only Looney Tunes character with a doctorate?
MIT’s Computer Science PhD application only accepts text files.
That’s really ASCII a lot, in my opinion.
My PhD was about torque.
I guess that makes me a spin doctor.
I have a friend who a PhD in interactions of matter and energy at all length and time scales in the physical universe.
The only job he could get was at a soda factory.
In a roundabout way, he did become a fizzicist.
Dad: “My first son has a PhD in arts, my daughter has two degrees in communication and journalism and my youngest son is a burglar.”
Friend: “Wow a burglar? You should kick him out!”
Dad: “Nah… he is the only one who makes money.”
A man walks into a bar and finds its patrons raucously celebrating with a young man standing on the bar shouting for more drinks, on him.
He walks up to the bar and shouts to the young man, “What’s the occasion?”
“My career’s in ruins!” the lad cackles.
The man, shocked, replies, “Then why are you celebrating?”
“I’ve just completed my PhD in archaeology!”
What’s the difference between a jungle cat who wrote his PhD thesis on the economic effects of taxation, and the order of insects that includes butterflies and moths?
One’s a leopard doctor of tax economy, the other’s a lepidopteral taxonomy.
So, I have this friend who studied to become an Egyptologist.
The only way he can make a living is by becoming a PhD and teach others to become Egyptologists.
As far as I’m concerned, it is a pyramid scheme.
A rabbit says to a fox, “I’m writing a dissertation on how rabbits eat foxes.”
“Come on, you know that’s impossible! No one will publish such rubbish.” says the fox.
“Well, follow me and I’ll show you.”
They both go into the rabbit’s dwelling and after a while, the rabbit emerges with a satisfied expression on his face.
Then comes a wolf.
“Hello, what are we doing these days?”
“I’m writing the second chapter of my thesis, on how rabbits devour wolves.”
“Are you crazy? Where is your academic honesty?”
“Come with me and I’ll show you.”
As before, the rabbit comes out with a satisfied look on his face and a diploma in his paw.
Finally, the camera pans into the rabbit’s cave and we see a mean-looking, huge lion, sitting, picking his teeth and belching, next to some furry, bloody remnants of the wolf and the fox.
The moral: It’s not the contents of your thesis that are important – it’s your PhD advisor that really counts.
I’ve been doing my psychology PhD thesis on the mental health and well-being of little people.
After 4 long years and multiple studies, I’ve concluded…
6 out of 7 dwarves aren’t Happy.
What do you call someone who does a BA in Arts, a MA in English and a PhD in Gender Studies?
A well educated Barista.
To the woman I met in the bar last night who was mad at me this morning…
I never said I had a PhD in theoretical physics. I said I had a theoretical PhD in physics.
What does PhD stand for?
Fancy Degree. It’s so fancy it’s spelled with a Ph.
After many years of studying at a university, I’ve finally become a PhD.
Or Pizza Hut Deliveryman as people call it.
Due to the size of my student loans for my PhD I have debts no honest man could pay.
Luckily I’m a statistician.
What’s the difference between a PhD in mathematics and a large pizza?
A large pizza can feed a family of four.
My PhD student claimed to have made a breakthrough in hyperbolic geometry.
Turns out he was just exaggerating.
I’m starting a charity for PhD students so they can finally afford to live on their own without the need for roommates.
It’s called “Doctors without Boarders.”
An illiterate dad and his son who has a PhD in astronomy went camping.
They unpacked and set up their tent.
After dinner they went to sleep.
A few hours later dad woke and was looking up at the stars.
He woke his son up and asked him, “What do you see?”
The son said, “Astronomically, it tells you that there are a lot of galaxies out there.”
His father interrupted, “No you idiot, someone stole the tent.”
What do call a fish with a PhD?
A brain sturgeon.
Jokes About PhDs
If you liked these hilarious pun and jokes about PhDs, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these: