Job Interview Jokes

All of these funny job interview jokes breezed through the selection process because they were easily up to the job of making us laugh!

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Funny Job Interview Jokes

Interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume?

Me: That’s when I went to Yale.

Interviewer: That’s impressive. You are hired.

Me: Thanks. I really need this Yob.

I was at a job interview today when the manager handed me his laptop and said, “I want you to try to sell this to me.”

So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building, and went home.

Eventually he called me and said, “Bring my laptop back here right now!”

I said, “$200 and it’s yours.”

The interviewer asked me why I’d be a good waiter.

I said, “Well, you could say I bring a lot to the table.”

Interviewer: “I heard you were extremely quick at math.”

Me: “Yes, as a matter of fact I am.”

Interviewer: “What’s 14×27?”

Me: “49.”

Interviewer: “That’s not even close.”

Me: “Yeah, but it was fast.”

I went for an interview. They said, “Can you perform under pressure?”

I said, “I’m not sure about that but I can have a good crack at Bohemian Rhapsody.”

I was asked at an interview what my weakness is.

I replied, “I’m too honest.”

The interviewer said, “I don’t consider honesty a weakness.”

I said, “I don’t care what you think.”

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

I just got out of a great interview with an amazing new job.

They told me they were looking for someone responsible!

I told them this was perfect, whenever something went wrong at my old job they always said I was responsible.

In my job interview yesterday I was asked what some of my good qualities were.

I said, “Well my doctor always calls me patient.”

A guy got an interview for a job with EA.

At the interview, the interviewer said, “The second part of your resume is missing.”

The applicant replied, “For the second part you have to pay $20.”

The interviewer said, “Welcome on board!”

The interviewer asked me, “It says here on your resume that you used to be in the theatre. What made you leave?”

I said, “Well, the movie ended, so…”

Me: “Squirting isn’t real, right? It’s just urine, right?”

Interviewer: “I meant any questions about the job.”

The interviewer said to me, “Describe yourself in three words.”

I said, “Lazy.”

Interviewer: What’s your greatest weakness?

Me: Answering the semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics.

Interviewer: Could you give me an example?

Me: Yes I could.

At a job interview I got asked to describe myself in a nutshell.

I said, “It’s so dark, I can’t breathe. Has anyone got a nut cracker? I can’t breathe!”

At the interview for my new job I was asked, “What would your friends say are your weaknesses?”

“I don’t have any!” I replied.

The interviewer seemed a little surprised and said, “That can’t be true. Everybody has some weak points.”

I said, “Oh no. You got that wrong. I meant I don’t have any friends.”

I had a job interview at the zoo yesterday.

They didn’t hire me. They said I was underkoalafied.

I went to a job interview and filled my cup up with water until it overflowed.

My interviewer said, “Woah there, are you nervous?”

I cooly replied, “I’m not nervous, I just always give 110 percent.”

At an interview I was asked to describe myself in one word.

I said, “Good listener.”

A priest in a big church in Paris has a job interview with a new bell ringer.

The priest asks, “Why should I hire you?”

The applicant responds, “I have a special talent!”

“Oh, and what is this special talent?” asks the priest.

The applicant walks up to the bells and slams his face into the bell.

At first the priest is taken aback, but the sound from the bells is heavenly!

“You’re hired!” he exclaims.

The applicant jumps around in excitement and slips, falling off the side of the belfry to the ground below.

The priest runs downstairs and outside to the sidewalk where the bell ringer lay dead.

A bystander asks, “Who is he?”

The priest responds, “I don’t know his name, but his face sure rings a bell!”

I got an interview and told them I was proficient in C and C-sharp.

Turns out that wasn’t good enough to be a pianist.

More Funny Jokes

If you enjoyed our hilarious jokes about job interviews be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, including these: