Time is a great healer, they say, which is lucky as you’ll need plenty of time to heal once your sides split from laughing at these funny quotes about time!
Funny Quotes About Time
Enjoy these funny quotes about time:
Time is a waste of money.
Oscar Wilde
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
Will Rogers
Aside from velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe. You can’t see it or touch it, yet a plumber can charge you upwards of seventy-five dollars per hour for it, without necessarily fixing anything.
Dave Barry
Time is a great healer, but a poor beautician.
Lucille S. Harper
The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.
Bertrand Russell
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
Hector Louis Berlioz
Never waste any time you can spend sleeping.
Frank H. Knight
How did it get so late so soon? It’s night before it’s afternoon. December is here before it’s June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?
Dr. Seuss
You can’t turn back the clock. But you can wind it up again.
Bonnie Prudden
The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.
Michael Altshuler
Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of 30.
Robert Frost
As if you could kill time without injuring eternity.
Henry David Thoreau
A day wasted on others is not wasted on one’s self.
Charles Dickens
There is a time for work and a time for love. That leaves no other time.
Coco Chanel
Time is the longest distance between two places.
Tennessee Williams
There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
Bill Watterson
Time is money, especially when you are talking to a lawyer or buying a commercial.
Frank Dane
They say I’m old-fashioned, and live in the past, but sometimes I think progress progresses too fast!
Dr. Seuss
Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
Ambrose Bierce
The less one has to do, the less time one finds to do it in.
Lord Chesterfield
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
Ray Cummings
Punctuality is the thief of time.
Oscar Wilde
The only way of catching a train I have ever discovered is to miss the train before.
G.K. Chesterton
The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is.
C. S. Lewis
Three o’clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Jean-Paul Sartre
No man goes before his time – unless the boss leaves early.
Groucho Marx
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Douglas Adams
People who cannot find time for recreation are obliged sooner or later to find time for illness.
John Wanamaker
I don’t have time, energy, or interest in hating the haters; I’m too busy loving the lovers.
Steve Maraboli
Only time can heal your broken heart. Just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs.
Jim Henson
There’s never enough time to do it right, but there’s always enough time to do it over.
Jack Bergman
I am not particularly interested in saving time; I prefer to enjoy it.
Eduardo Galeano
Don’t spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door.
Coco Chanel
We must use time as a tool, not as a couch.
John F. Kennedy
To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else.
Emily Dickinson
We love to buy books because we believe we’re buying the time to read them.
Warren Zevon
So little time and so little to do.
Oscar Levant
I am definitely going to take a course on time management… just as soon as I can work it into my schedule.
Louis E. Boone
Enjoy life. There’s plenty of time to be dead.
Hans Christian Andersen
And meanwhile time goes about its immemorial work of making everyone look and feel like shit.
Martin Amis
If you act like you’ve only got fifteen minutes, it will take all day. Act like you’ve got all day, it will take fifteen minutes.
Monty Roberts
Funny Time Quotes
If you enjoyed these funny quotes about time, be sure to check out all our other funny quotes and sayings too, including these:
