Funny Quotes About School

For some, school days are the best days of their lives; for others not so much. Regardless, these funny quotes about school are certainly top of the class. As a rule, you won’t find better anywhere else. Just like whiteboards, they’re remarkable! So enjoy them.

A selection of funny quotes about school

43 Funny School Quotes

In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.

Tom Bodett

Headmasters have powers at their disposal with which Prime Ministers have never yet been invested.

Winston Churchill

People learn something every day, and a lot of times it’s that what they learned the day before was wrong.

Bill Vaughan

Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.

Albert Einstein

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing worth knowing can be taught.

Oscar Wilde

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Fran Lebowitz

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

Woody Allen

It’s easier to floss with barbed wire than admit you like someone in middle school.

Laurie Halse Anderson

The human brain is special. It starts working as soon as you get up and it doesn’t stop until you get to school.

Milton Berle

When a teacher calls a boy by his entire name, it means trouble.

Mark Twain

Show me the man who enjoyed his schooldays and I will show you a bully and a bore.

Robert Morley

Public education was not founded to give society what it wants. Quite the opposite.

May Sarton

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.

Edgar W. Howe

The Founding Fathers in their wisdom decided that children were an unnatural strain on parents. So they provided jails called schools, equipped with tortures called an education.

John Updike

In grade school I was smart, but I didn’t have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends.

David Spade

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

Mark Twain

You send your child to the schoolmaster, but ’tis the schoolboys who educate him.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

No wonder the teacher knows so much; she has the book.

Edgar Watson Howe

Education costs money, but then so does ignorance.

Claus Moser

My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some indication of the misery I’ve endured over the past twenty-five years.

Paul Merton

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section.

Norm Crosby

My father wanted me to have all the educational opportunities he never had, so he sent me to a girls school.

Jack Herbert

But there are advantages to being elected President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret.

Ronald Reagan

A teacher’s job is to take a bunch of live wires and see that they are well-grounded.

D. Martin

Sunday school: A prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.

H. L. Mencken

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Mark Twain

You can’t learn in school what the world is going to do next year.

Henry Ford

I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.

Jeff Foxworthy

Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull they teach you in school.

George Carlin

I went to a high school reunion a couple years ago and realized that the kids who were the most unusual in high school are the ones who are the most interesting now and the ones who were popular are dull and boring.

Anderson Cooper

In high school I got voted most likely to get voted for something. Even though I was the only one who voted, it still felt terrific being nominated.

Jarod Kintz

Our school education ignores, in a thousand ways, the rules of healthy development.

Elizabeth Blackwell

Most schools have a loud system of loud bells, which startle the students and teachers at regular intervals and remind them that time is passing even more slowly than it seems.

Lemony Snicket

You know what they call the fellow who finishes last in his medical school graduating class? They call him ‘Doctor.’

Abe Lemons

I never learned hate at home, or shame. I had to go to school for that.

Dick Gregory

If the Romans had been obliged to learn Latin, they would never have found time to conquer the world.

Heinrich Heine

As long as algebra is taught in school, there will be prayer in school.

Cokie Roberts

He who opens a school door, closes a prison.

Victor Hugo

In school we learn that mistakes are bad, and we are punished for making them. Yet, if you look at the way humans are designed to learn, we learn by making mistakes. We learn to walk by falling down. If we never fell down, we would never walk.

Robert T. Kiyosaki

High school isn’t a very important place. When you’re going you think it’s a big deal, but when it’s over nobody really thinks it was great unless they’re beered up.

Stephen King

The first thing I learned at school was that some people are idiots; the second thing I learned was that some are even worse.

Orhan Pamuk

Whoever had decided that school should start so early in the morning and last all day long needed to be hunted down and forced to watch hours of educational television without the aid of caffeine.

Heather Brewer

Funny Quotes About School

If you enjoyed these funny quotes about school, be sure to have a look at LaffGaff‘s other funny quotes and sayings and other humor pages too, such as our graduation jokes, teacher jokes and school jokes, as well as these: