Sunrise
I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from.
Then it dawned on me.
Joke Of The Day Archives
Wrong House
Some guy knocked on my door today and said, “I’ve got a parcel for your next door neighbor.”
I said, “You’ve got the wrong house then, mate.”
Plasticine
The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my house.
I didn’t know what to make of it.
Mother’s Favorite Son
Yesterday, my mum asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party.
That’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.
eBay
It’s really difficult to find what you want on eBay.
I was searching for cigarette lighters and found over 15,000 matches.
Trampoline
My wife just found out that I’ve replaced our bed with a trampoline.
She hit the roof.
Book Shelf
A book just fell on my head.
I’ve only got my shelf to blame.
War Veteran
My granddad fought in the war and survived mustard gas and pepper spray.
He’s now classed as a seasoned veteran.
Bubblewrap
“Where do you want this big roll of bubble wrap?” I asked my boss.
“Just pop it in the corner,” he said.
It took me three hours.
Starting Gun
I shot someone with a starting gun the other day.
I’ve been charged with a race crime.
Out Of Order
Someone texted me in the middle of the night.
All the text said was “G A B N”.
I think that’s bang out of order.
