Donut Jokes And Puns

Is it donut or doughnut? Who cares – just donut believe people when they tell you donut jokes and puns aren’t funny! Here’s a hole load of them that proves otherwise!

Header image for a page of funny donut jokes and puns.

Funny Donut Jokes And Puns

I saw a Korean martial artist holding out a basket of donuts.

When I asked if I could take two, he said no.

I replied, “Can I at least Taekwondo?”

What do you call a store that sells only bagels and donuts?

Hole Foods.

Have you been eating donuts and driving?

Your eyes look glazed.

I dropped a box of donuts in the parking lots and all the crows are eying them greedily…

It’s a tempted murder.

Never insult a donut.

Some of them have fillings.

Did you hear about the police seige at the donut factory robbery?

The bad guys came out with all buns glazing.

Where is the best place to buy Cheerios and donuts?

Hole Foods.

What do you get when you plant a donut?

A pastree.

What do you call a cute donut?


What does a donut wear to a wedding?

A tuxe-dough.

Vacationers spend too much time and money at donut shops.

They’re torus traps.

I eat a donut every day.

But slowly I’m getting tired of the hole thing.

What kind of nut doesn’t have a shell?

A donut.

What did the sign on the baker’s door read when she wanted to be alone?

Donut disturb.

Why did the baker stop making donuts?

He was fed up with the hole thing.

What is the best way to have a well-rounded diet?

Eat donuts.

I hate donuts without holes.

They’re always so full of themselves.

My son was insisting that he should just have donuts for breakfast.

I pointed out the holes in his arguments.

A donut, a cupcake, and an ice cream cone crossed the road.

The streets were oddly desserted that night.

What do you call a donut with no holes?

A dnut.

The donut shop got robbed.

The burglars said they chose it because the shop was rolling in the dough.

A donut walks into a church, approaches the priest and explains “Excuse me, Father, I don’t mean to trouble you, but I’m very interested in joining the clergy. I was hoping that you could give me some pointers.”

The priest, after taking a moment to accept the fact that he’s speaking with a pastry, offers a warm smile in response.

“That is truly a noble calling.” he says. “Most frequently, individuals who wish to become priests begin by growing active in their parish, then entering a seminary. While in attendance there, would-be clergy members work to excel in every regard, reaffirming their beliefs and devoting themselves to the path of righteousness. When the time comes, a given initiate will be ordained as a deacon, which will allow them passage to priesthood.”

“That sounds like a very involved process.” the donut confesses. “I’m not sure I have the time.”

“If you don’t mind me asking…” replies the priest. “What made you think you wanted to join the clergy if you’re not willing to make a commitment to the process? Why do you want to be a priest at all?”

“Well…” the donut answers. “See, it’s because I’m holey.”

What’s under the Pillsbury Doughboy’s apron?


Why did the donut go to the dentist?

To get a filling.

The optimist sees the donut whole; the pessimist sees the donut hole.

How does Bob Marley like his donuts?

Wi’ jam in.

What does Bob Marley say to his friends when they come around for donuts and coffee?

“I hope you like jam in too.”

What did the taco say to the depressed donut?

Taco: Want to taco bout it? Donut: I donut know what to say.

Anybody go to the donut party?

I heard it was jam packed.

What did the donut say to the loaf of bread?

If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn’t be hanging around this hole.

What did the blonde say when she looked into the box of Cheerios?

Wow! Donut seeds!

I went to Dunkin Donuts and ordered 4 blueberry donuts and the cashier asked if I wanna box.

I’ve been banned for life from that shop.

If Johnny buys seventeen donuts every Monday and eats twelve of them each Wednesday, what is Johnny left with at the end of the year?


How do you remove the inherent bureaucracy that’s plaguing the donut industry?

Cut out the middle, man.

What’s the healthiest part of a donut?

The middle.

French donuts are the beigne of my existence.

I really want to start a donut shop.

But I don’t have enough dough.

What’s a basketball player’s favorite donut shop?

Dunkin’ Donuts.

What’s the best thing to put in a donut?

Your teeth.

Why did the donut go to the doctor?

It was feeling crummy.

What kind of windows do donuts prefer?

Double glazed.

Why are doughnuts so good at golf?

Because they always have a hole in one.

More Funny Food Jokes

If you enjoyed our funny jokes about donuts, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff, for lots more food puns including these:

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