If you’re dirty minded then the answers to these seemingly dirty riddles for adults aren’t exactly what they appear to be. Give them a try and see just what a dirty mind you have! The real answers are at the bottom of the page.
Warning – be aware although these are dirty riddles with clean answers they are still only suitable for adults, not for kids.
Dirty Riddles For Adults Only
Enjoy these riddles that sound dirty but have unexpectedly clean answers!
1. What goes in dry and hard but comes out soft and wet?
Show answer
A sponge.
2. What four letter word that ends in “k” means the same as intercourse?
Show answer
Talk.
3. Your finger fits right in it. You play with it when you’re bored. Once you’re married, you’re stuck with the same one forever. What is it?
Show answer
A ring.
4. What’s six inches long, goes in your mouth, and is more fun if it vibrates?
Show answer
A toothbrush.
5. You play with it at night in bed. You’re not allowed to fiddle with it a work. Only very special people are allowed to touch it. What is it?
Show answer
A smartphone.
6. What does every woman have that starts with a “V” and that she can use to get what she wants?
Show answer
Her voice.
7. What goes up, lets out a load, and then goes back down?
Show answer
An elevator.
8. What does a cow have four of that a woman only has two of?
Show answer
Legs.
9. I sometimes cause pain when I go in. I’ll fill your holes if you ask me to. I ask you to spit not swallow. What am I?
Show answer
A dentist.
10. What do men keep in their pants that their partners sometimes blow?
Show answer
Money.
11. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s is really long. Michael J. Fox’s is really short. Mickey Mouse’s isn’t human. Madonna doesn’t have one. What is it?
Show answer
A last name.
12. What does a dog do that you can step into?
Show answer
Pants.
13. What starts with “p” and ends with “orn” and is really popular in the movie industry?
Show answer
Popcorn.
14. What four letter word begins with “f” and ends with “k”, and if you can’t get one you can use your hands instead?
Show answer
Fork.
15. It’s fun to do but you hate knowing your parents do it too. What is it?
Show answer
Facebook.
More Dirty Riddles And Answers
Here are even more funny dirty riddles for you to enjoy!
16. What four letter word ends in “it” and can be found at the bottom of bird cages?
Show answer
Grit.
17. Every man has one. Some are big, some are small. It feels great when you blow it, but it drips if you aren’t careful. What is it?
Show answer
A nose.
18. What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, has choked people when used improperly, and works best when jerked?
Show answer
A seatbelt.
19. What does a man have that begins with “P” and gets bigger if it’s properly stimulated?
Show answer
The pupil of his eye.
20. What’s white, gooey, sticky, and better to spit than swallow?
Show answer
Toothpaste.
21. What does a man have in his trousers that a lady doesn’t want in her face?
Show answer
Wrinkles.
22. It involves a bed. Some people prefer it on top, while others prefer it on the bottom. What is it?
Show answer
A bunk bed.
23. I’m hard and hairy on the outside but soft and wet on the inside. My name begins with “c”, ends in “t”, and there’s a “u” and “n” in between them. What am i?
Show answer
A coconut.
24. What’s beautiful and natural, but gets long and prickly if it isn’t trimmed regularly?
Show answer
Grass.
25. I have a stiff shaft and my tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. What am I?
Show answer
An arrow.
26. I go in hard and come out soft. I never mind if you blow me. What am I?
Show answer
Bubblegum.
27. You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. What am I?
Show answer
A tent.
28. I’m spread out before being eaten. Your tongue gets me off. Sometimes people lick my nuts. What am I?
Show answer
Peanut butter.
29. I assist with erections. Sometimes, giant balls hang from me. I’m known as a big swinger. What am I?
Show answer
A crane.
30. I’m the highlight of many dates. I’m especially responsive when you put your fingers deep inside me. What am I?
Show answer
A bowling bowl.
Dirty Minded Riddles
If you liked these dirty riddles for adults, check out our other riddles and brainteasers too, including these:
- Bumper Riddles Collection.
- Christmas Riddles.
- Christmas Riddles For Kids.
- Cryptic Christmas Carol Riddles.
- Cryptic Christmas Movie Riddles.
- Cryptic Movie Riddles.
- Easy Riddles For Kids.
- Fun Soccer Riddles For Kids.
- Funny Bible Riddles.
- Halloween Riddles For Kids.
- Hard Riddles.
- Math Riddles.
- Short Riddles.
- Thanksgiving Riddles For Kids.
- The Best Riddler Riddles.
- Tricky Riddles For Adults & Teens.
- Valentine’s Day Riddles.
- What Am I? Riddles.