Dirty Adult Riddles

The answers to these seemingly dirty riddles for adults aren’t exactly what they appear to be. Give them a try and see just what a dirty mind you have! The real answers are at the bottom of the page.

Warning – be aware these riddles are only suitable for adults, not for kids.

A selection of dirty riddles for adults

Dirty Riddles For Adults Only

1. What goes in dry and hard but comes out soft and wet?

Show answer

A sponge.

2. What four letter word that ends in “k” means the same as intercourse?

Show answer

Talk.

3. Your finger fits right in it. You play with it when you’re bored. Once you’re married, you’re stuck with the same one forever. What is it?

Show answer

A ring.

4. What’s six inches long, goes in your mouth, and is more fun if it vibrates?

Show answer

A toothbrush.

5. You play with it at night in bed. You’re not allowed to fiddle¬†with it a work. Only very special people are allowed to touch it. What is it?

Show answer

A smartphone.

6. What does every woman have that starts with a “V” and that she can use to get what she wants?

Show answer

Her voice.

7. What goes up, lets out a load, and then goes back down?

Show answer

An elevator.

8. What does a cow have four of that a woman only has two of?

Show answer

Legs.

9. I sometimes cause pain when I go in. I’ll fill your holes if you ask me to. I ask you to spit not swallow. What am I?

Show answer

A dentist.

10. What do men keep in their pants that their partners sometimes blow?

Show answer

Money.

11. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s is really long. Michael J. Fox’s is really short. Mickey Mouse’s isn’t human. Madonna doesn’t have one. What is it?

Show answer

A last name.

12. What does a dog do that you can step into?

Show answer

Pants.

13. What starts with “p” and ends with “orn” and is really popular in the movie industry?

Show answer

Popcorn.

14. What four letter word begins with “f” and ends with “k”, and if you can’t get one you can use your hands instead?

Show answer

Fork.

15. It’s fun to do but you hate knowing your parents do it too. What is it?

Show answer

Facebook.

16. What four letter word ends in “it” and can be found at the bottom of bird cages?

Show answer

Grit.

17. Every man has one. Some are big, some are small. It feels great when you blow it, but it drips if you aren’t careful. What is it?

Show answer

A nose.

18. What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, has choked people when used improperly, and works best when jerked?

Show answer

A seatbelt.

19. What does a man have that begins with “P” and gets bigger if it’s properly stimulated?

Show answer

The pupil of his eye.

20. What’s white, gooey, sticky, and better to spit than swallow?

Show answer

Toothpaste.

21. What does a man have in his trousers that a lady doesn’t want in her face?

Show answer

Wrinkles.

22. It involves a bed. Some people prefer it on top, while others prefer it on the bottom. What is it?

Show answer

A bunk bed.

23. I’m hard and hairy on the outside but soft and wet on the inside. My name begins with “c”, ends in “t”, and there’s a “u” and “n” in between them. What am i?

Show answer

A coconut.

24. What’s beautiful and natural, but gets long and prickly if it isn’t trimmed regularly?

Show answer

Grass.

25. I have a stiff shaft and my tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. What am I?

Show answer

An arrow.

26. I go in hard and come out soft. I never mind if you blow me. What am I?

Show answer

Bubblegum.

More Fun Riddles

If you liked these dirty adult riddles, check out our other riddles and brainteasers too, including these: