We thought it would be a solid plan to let loose these funny diarrhea jokes and puns! We’ve been running behind and we just couldn’t hold them in any longer!
Funny Diarrhea Jokes
Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine.
Studies show that 4 out of 5 men suffer from diarrhea at some point in their life.
Why are 1 out of 5 men enjoying it?
Did you know, when you say “poop” your mouth moves the same way your butt does when you poop?
The same is true for the phrase “explosive diarrhea”.
I want to help people spell diarrhea correctly.
Prevent irregular vowel movement.
Whoever said laughter is the best medicine…
Clearly hasn’t tried curing diarrhea with a tickle fight.
I just found out that diarrhea is hereditary.
It runs in your jeans.
Using “Running behind” as an excuse…
Is much better than saying, “Diarrhea”.
Did you hear about the giant with diarrhea?
It’s all over town.
What’s faster – lightning, light, or diarrhea?
Diarrhea. Because I ran like lightning to the bathroom, turned on the light, but the diarrhea was already there.
I recently read the top 10 facts about diarrhea.
Number 2 surprised me.
My mother-in-law has a massive case of diarrhea.
She won’t find out until she unpacks her luggage.
My idiot friend keeps saying, “Every time I go to Taco Bell, I get diarrhea.”
I said, “Try ordering Tacos instead.”
What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs?
An elephant with diarrhea.
What do diarrhea and eye colour have in common?
It runs in your genes.
What do you call a hotel breakfast that gives you diarrhea?
From now on, I will avoid food that gives me diarrhea.
It’s a solid plan.
Diarrhea Awareness Week begins on Monday.
Runs until Friday.
My whole family gets diarrhea.
My dad says it’s because it runs in the jeans.
What do you give an elephant with diarrhea?
Plenty of room.
My son got diarrhea after eating alphabet soup.
It was a large vowel movement.
How do you know when an octopus has diarrhea?
It leaves squid marks.
How does a banker tell someone he has diarrhea?
“Oh god, my assets are liquid!”
What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?
A Salad Shooter.
What do you call a quesadilla that gives you an upset stomach?
Diarrhea remedy sales are up.
In fact there’s been quite a run on them.
My son just had his first encounter with diarrhea.
They didn’t get off to a solid start.
I asked my doctor if I could take a bath with diarrhea.
He said, “It depends on the amount”.
What’s the worst combination of illnesses?
Alzheimer’s and diarrhea.
You’re running, but can’t remember where.
After a week of diarrhea…
I would rate today’s bowel movement a sold 2.
I was having random bouts of diarrhea but I couldn’t figure out what was causing it.
Then I started keeping track.
I realized it was only happening when I would wear those polo shirts with the little alligator stitched on them.
Turns out I’m Lacoste intolerant.
My diarrhea is gone.
I guess you could say it’s gonorrhea.
What do you call a Scotsman with diarrhea?
What do a man with diarrhea and a electric car owner have in common?
They both hope to make it home.
On the day my friends were hosting my birthday celebration, I had diarrhea.
I was a party pooper.
Did you hear about the pigeon with diarrhea?
It kept saying, “Poopoo, Poopoo”.
How’s your diarrhea?
Well there’s nothing solid planned yet for the foreseeable future.
Don’t adopt a puppy to see if you’re ready for kids.
Adopt a homeless guy with diarrhea and a bunch of stories that don’t go anywhere.
Last week I got eczema, diarrhea, and hemorrhoids.
It was the first time I ever won a game of Scrabble.
What do you call diarrhea that you get from Dominos?
My love for you is like diarrhea.
I can’t hold it in.
I’m making a list of the worst places to get unexpected diarrhea.
Number 2 may surprise you.
What’s the difference between a mayor and a person with diarrhea?
One of them runs a city, and one of them sits a runny.
A guy with explosive diarrhea was eager to tell a joke.
He couldn’t hold it in.
I love stealing but it gives me severe diarrhea.
So I take Klepto Bismol.
Did you hear about the little boy that was late for school because he had diarrhea?
He was running a little behind.
What’s the difference between an expert marksman and an owl with diarrhea?
One hits whenever he shoots and the other …
Jokes About Diarrhea
If you liked these hilarious puns and jokes about diarrhea, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these: