Could you survive a zombie apocalypse? It’s a scary thought isn’t it? Well don’t be worried because these zombie jokes are dead funny! In fact, they’re head and shoulders above any others and not reading them would be a grave mistake. Indeed, laughing at them is a real no-brainer! Enjoy them.
Funny Zombie Jokes & Puns
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
Why did the zombie eat the archer?
He wanted his bone and marrow.
Why didn’t the zombie get the job when they went for an interview?
They wanted someone more lively.
Where do zombies eat dinner?
The living room.
How do zombies serve their country?
How does a zombie introduce himself?
By saying “Pleased to eat you.”
What did the zombie’s friend say when he introduced him to his girlfriend?
Good grief! Where did you dig her up from?
What’s a zombies favorite bean?
A human bean.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
What does a zombie get when he’s late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What kind of car does a zombie drive?
A monster truck.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
Where is the safest place to be in a zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
Why did the zombie do so well on the test?
Because it was a no brainer.
What did one zombie say to the other zombie when they were eating a comedian?
Does this taste funny to you?
What kind of candy do zombies refuse to eat?
Life Savers.
Who did the zombie take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
Where do zombies live?
On dead end streets.
What do you call a bee that never dies?
What do zombies say before a fight?
Do you want a piece of me?
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
What does it take to become a zombie?
Dead-ication.
What do zombies do at a wedding?
Toast the bride and groom.
What do you call an extremely well dressed zombie?
Dressed to kill.
Why did the zombie stop driving?
Because there was a dead end.
How do zombies tell their future?
With their horror-scope.
What do zombies like to eat at barbeques?
Halloweenies.
What is a zombie’s favorite sauce with brains?
Grave-y.
Why do the undead like honey?
They think it’s made by zom-bees.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
What is a zombie’s favorite football team?
The Washington Deadskins.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
How do zombies keep their hair in place?
With scare spray.
How do zombies celebrate Halloween?
They paint the town dead.
Jokes About Zombies
If you enjoyed this collection of funny zombie jokes and puns, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more Halloween jokes and other Halloween fun too, including these:
