Tell Me A Joke
So you're looking for some good jokes to tell? Well, you're in luck because you've come to just the right place.
Whether you're a guy looking for funny jokes to tell a girl, or just someone looking for jokes to tell their friends, we've got it covered.
Here's a selection of random jokes from our huge database. Refresh the page if you want to see more.
Random Jokes From LaffGaff
A maid wanted a raise in salary so she asked the lady of the house, who replied "Give me three good reasons why you should get a raise."
The maid said, "Ok. One - I can cook better than you." The lady asked, "Who told you that?" "Your husband" replied the maid.
"Two - I can iron better than you." "Who told you that?" asked the lady indignantly. "Your husband" replied the maid.
"Ok" said the lady. "What's the third reason?" The maid said, "Three - I'm better in bed than you."
This time the lady was furious. "Did my husband tell you that?" she shouted.
"No, the gardener did."
The lady doubled the maid's wages instantly...
How much room is needed for fungi to grow?
As mushroom as possible.
What do you call 2,000 mockingbirds?
A mugger jumps out in front of a university student and shouts, "Your money or your life!"
The student just keeps on walking as he says, "Sorry, I'm a computer science student, I don't have either."
I've just watched a documentary on marijuana.
I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
My favourite movie is The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.
What do iPhones eat for breakfast?
Why are Sherlock Holmes' taxes so low?
Because he's a master of deduction.
I hate people who talk about me behind my back.
They discussed me.
I had a blind date last night but before it I was worried what to do if she was really unattractive. My friend told me not to worry as there's an app for just that situation.
It's called "Mom Are You Ok" and it schedules your phone to ring just after you meet your date.
If you like her, you just ignore your phone.
If you want to cut short the date, you answer with, "Mom? What's the matter? Are you okay?"
It works every time, no worries.
So anyway, I knocked on the girl's door and it turns out I needn't have worried at all. She was absolutely gorgeous and stunning!
But just when I was about to speak to her, her phone rang.
She answered it and said, "Mom? What's the matter? Are you okay?"
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More Funny Jokes To Tell
Also, if you like this Tell Me A Joke page, check out the rest of our site too. We've got loads of pages packed with really funny jokes and puns to keep you laughing. Check out the menus at the top of the page for links. And you can also subscribe to our monthly newsletter to get lots of funny jokes direct to your email every month. Or check out these jokes pages: