I’m good in bed.
Hardly ever fall out.
I called to buy tickets for an Elvis tribute act.
It was an automated phone system which said, “Press 1 for the money, 2 for the show…”
I WRITE ALL MY JOKES IN CAPITALS…
THIS ONE WAS WRITTEN IN PARIS.
What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut?
I’m a cashew.
I forgot the Roman numerals for 51, 6, and 500.
I am LIVID.
I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey…
But I turned myself around.
I went bobsleighing the other day.
Killed 11 Bobs.
I dunno what this WiFi dude did…
But I’ve seen a ton of bars and restaurants demanding his freedom lately.
I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park.
It’s just really hard to find thirty two of them willing to do it.
I recently got a step ladder.
It hurts not being able to see my real ladder anymore.