Mexican jokes, or jokes about any race, that perpetuate negative racial stereotypes and racial hatred aren’t funny in our opinion. That said, we’re all different and those differences should be celebrated. And it doesn’t mean we can’t find humor in those differences, or that it’s wrong to laugh at truly funny Mexican jokes, for example, as long as they’re not offensive.
With that in mind, and with no offence intended, here is a selection of our favorite funny Mexican jokes and puns.
Funny Mexican Jokes & Puns
I went to the game last night and saw a Mexican wave.
So I waved back at him.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
Why did the Mexican keep a wheel of cheddar in his truck?
In Queso emergencies.
What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who runs out of protein?
No Whey José.
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Juan.
Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?
He had loco motives.
Why did the Mexican take a Xanax?
For Hispanic attacks.
What book do Mexican students read in English class?
Tequila mocking bird.
One day a Mexican maid announced to her boss and his wife that she was quitting.
They asked her why and she replied, “Because I’m in the family way.”
The wife was totally surprised and shocked to hear this, and asked who it was, to which the maid replied, “Your husband and your son.”
The wife was aghast to hear this and demanded an explanation from the maid.
“Well,” the maid explained, “I go to the library to clean it and your husband say, ‘You are in the way’. I go to the living room to clean and your son say ,’You are in my way’. So I’m in the family way and I quit.”
Why couldn’t the Mexican archer use his bow?
He didn’t habanero.
Did you know that Mexican gigolos sometimes have specials?
Two for the price of Juan.
This Mexican threw his wife off a cliff. When the police asked him why he did it, he replied …
“Tequila! Tequila!”
What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
What’s a Mexican’s favorite sport?
Cross country.
“I hate tacos“…
Said no Juan ever.
What do Mexicans put under their carpets?
Underlay! Underlay!
What did the Mexican firefighter call his sons?
Hose A and Hose B.
What do you call a Mexican that can’t do anything?
A Mexican’t.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball against one another?
Juan on Juan.
Why don’t Mexicans cross the border in threes?
Because it says “No Trespassing”.
There are two American explorers and a Mexican explorer exploring together in Africa when they stumble upon a long-lost tribe.
The Chief of the tribe says to the explorers that they are going to get fruit shoved up their butts and if they laugh they will be killed.
Fortunately, the Chief tells them that they are allowed to choose their own fruit to be shoved up them.
The two Americans sensibly pick small berries and the Chief duly shoves them up their butts.
To the Chief’s surprise they both burst out laughing and so he cuts their heads off.
When the two Americans get to heaven, God asks them why on earth they laughed.
The Americans reply, “Just as he shoved the fruit up our butts we heard the Mexican pick a watermelon.”
What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand?
Cuatro Cinco.
What kind of cans are there in Mexico?
Mexicans.
What do Mexicans think of Trump’s new wall?
They’ll get over it.
These three men are traveling through the Amazon – a German, an American, and a Mexican, and they get captured by a tribe who tell them that they are going to be whipped on the back.
The chief of the tribe says to the German, “What do you want on your back for your whipping?”
The German replies, “I will take oil!”
So the tribe put oil on his back, and a large member of the tribe whips him ten times.
When he is finished the German has huge welts and sores on his back, and is in so much pain that he can hardly move.
The tribe haul the German away, and say to the Mexican, “And what do you want on your back?”
The Mexican bravely says, “I will take nothing!” and he stands there straight and takes his whipping without flinching.
Finally, the tribe ask the American, “And what will you take on your back?”
He replies, “I’ll take the Mexican.”
Why were there only two thousand Mexicans at the battle of the Alamo?
Because they only had two trucks.
Two Americans decide to start a bungee jumping business in Mexico.
They’re almost done setting up on a bridge by a city but first they have to test to see if the cord will work.
So one of the men ties the cord to himself, jumps off, and comes back up with scratches on his face.
So they get a shorter cord and the same guy tests it again.
Before he jumps, the entire city are standing at the bottom, staring up at him, with brooms in their hands.
He jumps and this time he comes back up with bruises and a broken bone.
The other guy says to him, “I thought that would be the perfect length that time.”
The other guy that jumped replies, “It was. By the way, what the hell is a pinata?”
Why don’t you play Uno with Mexicans?
Because they take all the green cards.
A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks. He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him.
“Quiero calcetines,” said the man.
I don’t speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here,” said the salesgirl.
“No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines,” said the man.
“Well, these shirts are on sale this week,” declared the salesgirl.
“No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines,” repeated the man.
“I still don’t know what you’re trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack,” offered the salesgirl.
“No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines,” insisted the man.
“These sweaters are top quality,” the salesgirl probed.
“No, no quiero sueter. Quiero calcetines,” said the man.
“Our undershirts are over here,” fumbled the salesgirl, beginning to lose patience.
“No, no quiero camisetas. Quiero calcetines,” the man repeated.
As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed, “Eso sí que es!”
“Why didn’t you just spell it in the first place?!” yelled the salesgirl.
A young Mexican man named Jose was curious about America so he sneaked across the border one day.
He wanted to go see a baseball game so when he went home, he could tell his family all about it.
When he got to the game, it was sold out, so he decided to climb to the top of a flag pole to get a better look.
When he returned home, his family was anxious to hear about his experience. “What happened?” they asked him.
“Well, America is the nicest place in the world!!” he said. “Before the game started, all the people in the stands and all the players stood up, looked at me and said, “Jose, can you see?”
What do you call a short Mexican?
A paragraph, because he’s too short to be an esse.
Best Mexican Puns & Jokes
If you enjoyed our collection of funny Mexican jokes and puns, why not check out the rest of LaffGaff where we have loads more really funny jokes and puns, including these:
