Smiley laughing at extremely funny joke!

Three Times

My friend said he’d seen another guy put his arms around my girlfriend three times.

I said I didn’t believe him. Nobody’s got arms that long.

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Smiley laughing at a good joke

Exchange Numbers

I was talking to a girl in a bar last night and she said, “Hey, let’s exchange numbers.”

I said, “Won’t that confuse people who are trying to call us?”

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Smiley laughing at a good joke

Voodoo Doll

I called my wife at work and asked, “Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone’s got a voodoo doll of you and they’re stabbing it?”

Sounding concerned, she said, “No.”

I said, “How about now?”

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Smiley grinning at good joke

Listening Skills

I asked my girlfriend to rate my listening skills.

She said, “You’re an 8 on a scale of 10.”

I still don’t understand why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton.

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Smiley laughing at funny one liner

Valentine’s Day Flowers

My wife just called me and said, “Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentine’s Day. They are absolutely gorgeous!”

I replied, “That’s probably why they’ve received flowers then.”

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