Smiley grinning at good joke

Mad Wife

My wife is still mad at me because I accidentally put superglue on her pen a few days ago.

She just can’t seem to let it go.

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Smiley laughing at a good joke

It Could Have Been Me

I was crossing the street when I suddenly noticed my ex getting run over by a bus.

I thought to myself, “Wow! That could have been me!”

Then I remembered I can’t drive a bus.

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Smiley grinning at good joke

Getting Heavy

After kissing a girl on her sofa she said, “Let’s take this upstairs.”

“Okay” I said, ” You grab one end and I’ll grab the other.”

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Smiley in sunglasses laughing at really funny joke

Marriage Phobia

The doctor told me I might have a marriage phobia and asked if I thought I had any symptoms.

I said, “I can’t say I do.”

He said, “Yeah, that’s the main one.”

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Smiley laughing at funny one liner

History

I’ve just spotted my ex-girlfriend standing on the other side of the museum.

I’m not going to go and say hi though.

There’s too much history between us.

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Rabbit smiley laughing at a good joke

Mud Pack

I tried to have a conversation with my wife when she was applying a mud pack.

You should have seen the filthy look she gave me.

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