Funny Short Joke

Funny Break Up Joke

I asked my girlfriend if she’d like a day of eating ice cream and hanging with her girl friends.

She said yes.

I said, “Good, because I’m breaking up with you.”

Women laughing at hilarious joke

Funny Vegan Joke

I have a vegan girlfriend.

Don’t get me wrong, I love her very much. But sometimes I think she just looks at me like a piece of carrot.

Funny Joke

Father Of One Of My Kids

A guy goes to the supermarket one day. He’s doing his shopping when he notices an attractive young woman waving at him.

She comes over and says hi to him.

He’s taken aback because he can’t think where he knows her from. So he asks here “Do you know me?”

She replies, “Yes, I think you’re the father of one of my kids.”

The guy’s mind is whirring now and it travels back to the only time he’s ever been unfaithful to his wife. He asks the woman, “Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???”

She looks into his eyes and calmly replies, “No, I’m your son’s teacher.”