Women laughing at hilarious joke

Funny Blind Date Joke

I had a blind date last night but before it I was worried what to do if she was really unattractive. My friend told me not to worry as there’s an app for just that situation.

It’s called “Mom Are You Ok” and it schedules your phone to ring just after you meet your date.

If you like her, you just ignore your phone.

If you want to cut short the date, you answer with, “Mom? What’s the matter? Are you okay?”

It works every time, no worries.

So anyway, I knocked on the girl’s door and it turns out I needn’t have worried at all. She was absolutely gorgeous and stunning!

But just when I was about to speak to her, her phone rang.

She answered it and said, “Mom? What’s the matter? Are you okay?”

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Funny Short Joke

Funny Break Up Joke

I asked my girlfriend if she’d like a day of eating ice cream and hanging with her girl friends.

She said yes.

I said, “Good, because I’m breaking up with you.”

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Funny Joke

Father Of One Of My Kids

A guy goes to the supermarket one day. He’s doing his shopping when he notices an attractive young woman waving at him.

She comes over and says hi to him.

He’s taken aback because he can’t think where he knows her from. So he asks here “Do you know me?”

She replies, “Yes, I think you’re the father of one of my kids.”

The guy’s mind is whirring now and it travels back to the only time he’s ever been unfaithful to his wife. He asks the woman, “Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???”

She looks into his eyes and calmly replies, “No, I’m your son’s teacher.”

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