My wife is a body builder.
Funny relationship jokes are always engaging (see what we did there!), and none more so than this hilarious collection of jokes about relationships that we've put together. There's something to cover every aspect of being in a relationship.
So we hope you enjoy these funny relationship jokes.
You might think that feminist jokes would be offensive. But here at LaffGaff, we're all for equality, and that means everyone should be laughed at equally!
They say love is blind but these jokes are an eye-opener! If you love jokes and you're in love, then you'll love these funny love jokes!
My wife is a body builder.
My wife just threatened to leave me because of my “Filthy and disgusting habits.”
I was so shocked I nearly choked on my toenails.
My friend said he’d seen another guy put his arms around my girlfriend three times.
I said I didn’t believe him. Nobody’s got arms that long.
My wife and I were up all night arguing about whose turn it was to do the laundry.
At 2 am, I folded.
My wife complained that I don’t buy her flowers.
To be honest, I didn’t know she sold flowers.
My wife gets angry…
That I keep introducing her as my ex-girlfriend.
I told my friend a cannibal took my sister to see a Russell Crowe movie.
He asked, “Gladiator?”
I said, “No, I really miss her.”
The shortest sentence is “I am.”
The longest sentence is “I do.”
The skip intro button on Netflix is so cool.
I wish Tinder had it too.
Statistics say that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship is unfaithful.
I just need to work out if that’s my wife or my girlfriend.
I was talking to a girl in a bar last night and she said, “Hey, let’s exchange numbers.”
I said, “Won’t that confuse people who are trying to call us?”
I met a girl at a club the other night who said she’d show me a good time.
When we got outside she ran a 40-meter dash in just 4.5 seconds.
I just realized my wife left me because of my obsession with simplifying fractions.
Oh well, hindsight is 1.
I called my wife at work and asked, “Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone’s got a voodoo doll of you and they’re stabbing it?”
Sounding concerned, she said, “No.”
I said, “How about now?”
I asked my girlfriend to rate my listening skills.
She said, “You’re an 8 on a scale of 10.”
I still don’t understand why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton.
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!”
So I peed on it and said, “That’s for stinging my wife!”
My wife just called me and said, “Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentine’s Day. They are absolutely gorgeous!”
I replied, “That’s probably why they’ve received flowers then.”
Why is boyfriend one word but best friend is two words?
Because your best friend gives you space when you need it.
How do you get a farm girl to like you?
My wife’s leaving me because she thinks I’m obsessed with astronomy.
What planet is she on?