Funny Relationship JokesFunny Relationship Jokes

Funny relationship jokes are always engaging (see what we did there!), and none more so than this hilarious collection of jokes about relationships that we've put together. There's something to cover every aspect of being in a relationship.

So we hope you enjoy these funny relationship jokes.

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Latest Relationships Jokes

Smiley sticking tongue out at funny joke

Break Up

I just text my girlfriend Ruth and told her that its over between us.

I’m Ruthless.

Rabbit smiley laughing at a good joke

Mud Pack

I tried to have a conversation with my wife when she was applying a mud pack.

You should have seen the filthy look she gave me.

Smiley laughing at funny one liner

Compulsive Gambler

My girlfriend broke up with me because I’m a compulsive gambler.

Ever since, all I can think about is how to win her back.

Grinning at good joke

That’s Not Going To Work!

When my wife caught me standing on the bathroom scales, sucking in my stomach, she laughed, “Ha! That’s not going to help!”

“Sure, it does.” I said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”

Grinning at good joke

No Comparison

My wife asked me how she compared to past girlfriends so I told her she was the only one I had been with.

The others were all eights and nines.

Smiley grinning at funny joke

Bros Before Hoes?

Personally, I don’t believe in bros before hoes, or hoes before bros.

There needs to be a balance.

A homie-hoe-stasis, if you will.

Grinning at good joke

Just A Game!

My wife sighed, “Why does everything have to be a game with you?”

I replied, “An excellent question, my dear. But next time, please use the buzzer!”

Smiley sticking tongue out at funny joke

Not Another Dinner Date

My girlfriend and I went on our 9th date to see the new Batman film.

Our dates can be summarized as follows: Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, BATMAN!

Smiley sticking tongue out at funny joke

Not Paying Attention

My wife said to me, “You’re shirtless and also covered in… oil?”

I said, “Well, you’re always saying I never glisten.”

My wife said, “Listen! You never listen!”

Rabbit laughing at funny joke

It’s A Date!

The girl I like said she’d go out with me if I knew a six letter word that’s a synonym for “calm”.

I said, “It’s sedate.”

Idiot smiley laughing at hilarious joke

I Prefer Yours To Mine

My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives.

I said, “No, I don’t hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine.”

Grinning at good joke

Labor Pains

My wife screamed in pain during labor so I asked, “What’s wrong?”.

She screamed. “These contractions are going to kill me!!”

“I am sorry, honey,” I replied. “What is wrong?”