Funny Relationship JokesFunny Relationship Jokes

Funny relationship jokes are always engaging (see what we did there!), and none more so than this hilarious collection of jokes about relationships that we've put together. There's something to cover every aspect of being in a relationship.

So we hope you enjoy these funny relationship jokes.

Popular Relationship Jokes Links

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Latest Relationships Jokes

Grinning at good joke

Split Up

My wife and I have split up over my obsession with horoscope jokes.

In the end it Taurus apart.

Smiley in sunglasses laughing at really funny joke

Bad Impression

My wife has kicked me out of the house because of my bad Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions.

But don’t worry…

I’ll return.

Smiley in sunglasses laughing at really funny joke

Marriage Phobia

The doctor told me I might have a marriage phobia and asked if I thought I had any symptoms.

I said, “I can’t say I do.”

He said, “Yeah, that’s the main one.”

Smiley laughing at funny one liner


I’ve just spotted my ex-girlfriend standing on the other side of the museum.

I’m not going to go and say hi though.

There’s too much history between us.

Smiley sticking tongue out at funny joke

Break Up

I just text my girlfriend Ruth and told her that its over between us.

I’m Ruthless.

Rabbit smiley laughing at a good joke

Mud Pack

I tried to have a conversation with my wife when she was applying a mud pack.

You should have seen the filthy look she gave me.

Smiley laughing at funny one liner

Compulsive Gambler

My girlfriend broke up with me because I’m a compulsive gambler.

Ever since, all I can think about is how to win her back.

Grinning at good joke

That’s Not Going To Work!

When my wife caught me standing on the bathroom scales, sucking in my stomach, she laughed, “Ha! That’s not going to help!”

“Sure, it does.” I said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”

Grinning at good joke

No Comparison

My wife asked me how she compared to past girlfriends so I told her she was the only one I had been with.

The others were all eights and nines.

Smiley grinning at funny joke

Bros Before Hoes?

Personally, I don’t believe in bros before hoes, or hoes before bros.

There needs to be a balance.

A homie-hoe-stasis, if you will.

Grinning at good joke

Just A Game!

My wife sighed, “Why does everything have to be a game with you?”

I replied, “An excellent question, my dear. But next time, please use the buzzer!”

Smiley sticking tongue out at funny joke

Not Another Dinner Date

My girlfriend and I went on our 9th date to see the new Batman film.

Our dates can be summarized as follows: Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, BATMAN!