Really bad puns are hilarious! And there are really bad puns and then there are these really, really bad puns! Sometimes something is so bad you just have to laugh, and here we have the perfect examples of awfully bad puns for you.
Enjoy! And if you do, you can find more punny jokes here.
Really Bad Puns
He was very tender and tasty, but they were all suddenly violently sick afterwards.
Which just goes to show that you can’t keep a good man down.
Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
One afternoon, as five o’clock approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract.
Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar.
The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, “This isn’t a hazelnut daiquiri!”
“No, I’m sorry,” replied the bartender, “It’s a hickory daiquiri doc.”
The doctor replies: “It’s very simple. You’re two tents.”
The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
He wanted to transcend dental medication.
He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him, a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Intrigued, the young man eventually asked if he could be allowed to work the machine, but the store manager turned down his request saying, “Sorry, kid, but baggers can’t be juicers.”
“Are you the friar?” he asked.
The brother replied “No. I’m the chip monk.”
The first wife gave birth to a boy and the chief was so happy he built her a teepee made of deer hide.
A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. Again, the chief was delighted so he built her a teepee made of antelope hide.
The third wife gave birth a few days later, but this time the chief kept the details a secret.
He built the third wife two story teepee, made out of hippopotamus hide and then challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred. Many tried, but no-one could work out what had happened. Finally, one young brave declared that the third wife had given birth to twin boys.
“Correct,” said the chief. “How did you figure it out?”
The brave answered, “It’s elementary – the value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.”