Gnome laughing at funny jokes

Ugly Baby

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.”

The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: “The driver just insulted me.”

The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

Hilarious Jokes

Not Happy

This morning on the way to work I wasn’t really paying attention and I drove into the back of a car at some traffic lights.

The driver got out and it turned out he was a dwarf.

He said, “I’m not happy.”

I said, “Well, which one are you then?”

Women laughing at hilarious joke

Just Kidding

A wife says to her husband, “How would you describe me?”

Her husband replies “ABCDEFGHIJK.”

The wife asks “What does that mean?”

The husband says “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.”

The wife is pleased, “Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?”

The husband says “I’m just kidding!”

Funny Joke

Sunrise

I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from.

Then it dawned on me.

Funny Short Joke

Wrong House

Some guy knocked on my door today and said, “I’ve got a parcel for your next door neighbor.”

I said, “You’ve got the wrong house then, mate.”

Hilarious Jokes

eBay

It’s really difficult to find what you want on eBay.

I was searching for cigarette lighters and found over 15,000 matches.

Funny Short Joke

Bubblewrap

“Where do you want this big roll of bubble wrap?” I asked my boss.

“Just pop it in the corner,” he said.

It took me three hours.

Boy laughing at short funny joke

Out of Order

Someone texted me in the middle of the night.

All the text said was “G A B N”.

I think that’s bang out of order.