Hilarious Jokes

Redneck Death Joke

A redneck’s father died in his sleep one night.

In the morning, when the redneck discovered the body he called 911 to come and pick it up.

The 911 operator said she would send someone out right away and asked, “Where do you live?”.

The redneck replied, “At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.”

The operator then asked, “Can you spell that for me, please?

There was a long pause before the redneck finally said, “How ’bout if I drag him over to Oak Street and you pick him up there?”

Funny Short Joke

Funny Freudian Slip Joke

How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb and one to hold the penis.

EDIT: LADDER. I MEANT LADDER.

Gnome laughing at funny jokes

Funny Key To Comedy Joke

I went for a minor procedure at the hospital the other day. As I felt the anaesthetic starting to kick in I said, “I have a joke for you.”

The anaesthetist said, “You’d better be quick!”

I said, “Do you know what the key to comedy is?”

Then I smiled and passed out.

When I woke up a couple of hours later, I asked the nurse to pass the anaesthetist a message: “Timing.”

Hilarious Jokes

Funny Baptism Joke

A priest is baptizing this guy one day.

As he dips him in the water three times, he says “Joe, from now on you will be known as Matthew. From this day forth you are to shed your sinful ways and that includes no more gambling or alcohol.”

Later that day the guy goes home and heads straight for the fridge.

He grabs a bottle of beer and dips it in the sink. As he does so, he says “From this day on, you will be known as green tea.”