Boy laughing at short funny joke

Believe In Life After Death

My boss at work said to me today, “Do you believe in the supernatural and life after death?”

“Yes, I think so,” I replied.

He said, “I thought you probably would. Yesterday after you left early to go to your grandmother’s funeral, she phoned up to talk to you…”

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Funny Short Joke

The Sun’s Come Out

My wife shouted upstairs to me, “Hey, the sun’s just come out.”

I thought great, threw on some shorts and flip flops, grabbed the sun cream and ran down the stairs.

I was rather shocked when I got down to find my son holding hands with his friend Steven.

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Funny Joke

Good Reason For A Raise

A maid wanted a raise in salary so she asked the lady of the house, who replied “Give me three good reasons why you should get a raise.”

The maid said, “Ok. One – I can cook better than you.” The lady asked, “Who told you that?” “Your husband” replied the maid.

“Two – I can iron better than you.” “Who told you that?” asked the lady indignantly. “Your husband” replied the maid.

“Ok” said the lady. “What’s the third reason?” The maid said, “Three – I’m better in bed than you.”

This time the lady was furious. “Did my husband tell you that?” she shouted.

“No, the gardener did.”

The lady doubled the maid’s wages instantly…

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Women laughing at hilarious joke

Really Bad News

I was in the hospital visiting a friend today and I couldn’t help overhearing a doctor say to one of the other patients, “I have some bad news, and some really bad news.”

The patient asked, “What’s the bad news?”

The doctor replied, “You only have 24 hours to live.”

The patient said, “Oh my god! And what’s the really bad news?”

The doctor said, “I should have told you yesterday.”

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Hilarious Jokes

Pampering My Girlfriend

I love to pamper my girlfriend after she’s had a stressful day at work.

I get her to text me when she’s leaving so I can get the hot tap running, swirl around the foam and bubbles and time everything perfectly so that the moment she walks through the door…

the dishes are piled up and waiting for her.

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