Below are genuinely funny things said in court and recorded by court reporters. In fairness, being in court whether as a defendant, witness, or even a laywer must be a stressful experience but even so the mind boggles at some of these...
Anyway, whatever the excuse they're hilarious, so enjoy this list of funny things said in court!
A: No, I just lie there.
A: July 15.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
A: We both do.
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
Q: How many were boys?
Q: Were there any girls?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
Q: Did you check for breathing?
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
Funny Things Said In Court
If you enjoyed our collection of funny things said in court, why not check out the rest of our site for lots more funny jokes and laughs, including our funny car insurance claims and our funny council letters, as well as these: