It’s not an exaggeration to say that teachers can change lives. And we’re proud to say we’ve learned our lesson well and brought you all our favorite funny teacher quotes and sayings. They really are in a class of their own!
42 Funny Teacher Quotes
If you really want to know about the future, don’t ask a technologist, a scientist, a physicist. No! Don’t ask somebody who’s writing code. No, if you want to know what society’s going to be like in 20 years, ask a kindergarten teacher.
Clifford Stoll
In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.
Rodney Dangerfield
Summer: The time of the year when parents realize just how grossly underpaid teachers actually are.
Unknown
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
Woody Allen
There are three things to remember when teaching: know your stuff; know whom you are stuffing; and then stuff them elegantly.
Lola May
A teacher’s job is to take a bunch of live wires and see that they are well-grounded.
Darwin D. Martin
He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches.
George Bernard Shaw
Good teachers are the ones who can challenge young minds without losing their own.
Unknown
Educators are the only people who lose sleep over other people’s kids.
Nicholas A. Ferroni
You want to know how I think art should be taught to children? Take them to a museum and say, “This is art, and you can’t do it.”
Steve Martin
There are two kinds of teachers: the kind that fill you with so much quail shot that you can’t move, and the kind that just gives you a little prod behind and you jump to the skies.
Robert Frost
Teachers are the only professionals who have to respond to bells every forty-five minutes and come out fighting.
Frank McCourt
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.
George Burns
For every person wishing to teach, there are thirty not wanting to be taught.
Unknown
A cross-eyed teacher can keep twice the number of children in order than any other, because the pupils do not know who she’s looking at.
John R. Kemble
Teachers are overworked and underpaid. True, it is an exacting and exhausting business, this damming up the flood of human potentialities.
George B. Leonard
I teach high school math. I sell a product to a market that doesn’t want it, but is forced by law to buy it.
Dan Meyer
I always loved art teachers because they were so bizarre. They were like the homeless people of the faculty – all disheveled, wearing smocks, covered in paint, always digging through the garbage, looking for bottles and egg cartons and things.
Ted Alexandro
The best thing about being a teacher is that it matters. The hardest thing about being a teacher is that it matters every day.
Todd Whitaker
Teachers affect eternity; no-one can tell where their influence stops.
Henry Brook Adams
Teaching: the only profession where you steal things from home and bring them to work.
Unknown
Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon.
E. M. Forster
I can’t believe I just saw my teacher at the grocery store! I thought she lived in her classroom!
Heidi McDonald
The only people you have to look out for in life are the people that don’t care about anything or anyone. These are the people that end up teaching your children.
Shannon L. Alder
Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching – that is really what our enthusiasm for education has come to.
Oscar Wilde
Teacher’s nightmare: Tying a wet shoelace when it has not been raining.
Unknown
I think a secure profession for young people is history teacher, because in the future, there will be so much more of it to teach.
Bill Muse
I have noticed that teachers get exciting confused with boring a lot.
Sara Pennypacker
Teaching seems to require the sort of skills one would need to pilot a bus full of live chickens backwards, with no brakes, down a rocky road through the Andes while simultaneously providing colorful and informative commentary on the scenery.
Franklin Habit
The chief wonder of education is that it does not ruin everybody concerned in it, teachers and taught.
Henry Adams
A good teacher must know the rules; a good pupil, the exceptions.
Martin H. Fischer
There are three good reasons to be a teacher – June, July, and August.
Unknown
Your best teacher is your last mistake.
Ralph Nader
I won’t say I was a slow developer, but our teacher was quite pleased to have someone her own age in the class to talk to.
Chic Murray
The best teacher of children, in brief, is one who is essentially childlike.
H. L. Mencken
Blaming teachers for the problems in education is like blaming doctors for people being sick.
Unknown
You think when gym teachers were younger, they’re thinking, “You know, I want to teach… but I don’t want to read. How about kickball for 40 years?”
Jim Gaffigan
Teaching is the greatest act of optimism.
Colleen Wilcox
No school teacher has ever had a former student return to say a standardized test has changed his or her life.
Joe Martin
I had another wild night last night. I finished grading papers at 11:00 p.m. I stayed up and partied until 11:02 p.m.
Heidi McDonald
She used to be a teacher but she has no class now.
Fred Allen
To survive as a teacher you need 3 bones: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.
Unknown
Funny Quotes About Teachers
If you enjoyed our funny teacher quotes, be sure to check out LaffGaff‘s funny graduation jokes and teacher jokes, as well as our other funny quotes and sayings too, including these:
