Idiot smiley laughing at hilarious joke

Cinema Food

If I had a dollar for every time a customer complained about the price of cinema food…

I could almost afford a small popcorn.

Funny face laughing at hilarious clean joke

Twin In Prison

My twin brother called me from prison.

He said, “So you know how we finish each others’ sentences?”

Smiley giving thumbs up to funny joke

Impressing Girls

A friend of mine tries to impress girls by drawing realistic paintings of the Ford F-150.

He’s a pickup artist.

Rabbit laughing at funny joke

Spice Rack

I relabeled all the jars in my wife’s spice rack.

I’m not in trouble yet but the thyme is cumin…

Rabbit smiley laughing at a good joke

Human Body

My son is now at that age where he’s curious about the human body.

I guess I’ll have to hide it somewhere else now.

Smiley grinning at funny joke

Weird OCD

My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.

It’s an extremely rare dish order.

Rabbit laughing at funny joke

Comic Books

All the comic books I bought from the store are missing the last page.

I have to draw my own conclusions.

Smiley sticking tongue out at funny joke

One Hit Wonder

I often wonder if the guy who came up with the term, “One Hit Wonder”…

Came up with any other phrases.

Smiley laughing at funny one liner

Dream Man

Ladies, if there‚Äôs a man who remembers your birthday, knows what you enjoy and understands your friends and family…

It’s Mark Zuckerberg.

Rabbit smiley laughing at a good joke

Opposite Of Night

I spent hours trying to remember what the opposite of “night” was.

But, in the end, I just had to call it a day.