Smiley laughing at funny one liner

Bohemian Rhapsody

I’ve just downloaded the Queen movie, Bohemian Rhapsody.

I think it was filmed in a cinema though, as I see a little silhouetto of a man.

Idiot smiley laughing at hilarious joke

Salmon Clothes

My friend is making a lot of money by selling photos of salmon dressed up in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

Smiley grinning at good joke

Negativity Jar

Instead of a swear jar, I have a negativity jar. Every time I have pessimistic thoughts, I put a dollar in…

It’s currently half empty…

Idiot smiley laughing at hilarious joke

Make The Bed

Every morning after I wake up, the first thing I do is make my bed.

Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of junk to Ikea.

Smiley laughing at funny one liner

Sentient Water Basin

In a recent poll, 80% of people in America said they would not open their homes to a sentient water basin that walked up to their door and asked for shelter.

Let that sink in.

Smiley giving thumbs up to funny joke

Elevator Man

I rode the elevator to the eleventh floor, and as I got out, the operator said, “Have a good day, son.”

“Don’t call me son,” I said. “You’re not my dad.”

He scratched his head and said, “No, but I brought you up, didn’t I?”.