Idiot smiley laughing at hilarious joke

Probably Not Safe

It’s probably not safe for me to be driving my car right now.

But hey, bad brakes have never stopped me before.

Funny face laughing at hilarious clean joke

It Used To Be Free!

Remember as a child when air for your bike was free?┬áNow it’s $1.50!

I asked the gas station attendant why.

He said, “Inflation.”

Smiley sticking tongue out at funny joke

Learning Braille

I asked my Dad what it was like learning Braille, but he didn’t want to tell me.

I didn’t realize it was such a touchy subject.

Smiley laughing at funny one liner

He Did Warn Them

My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink.

No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out the movie theater.

Smiley grinning at funny joke

Police Record

I got pulled over by the cops and asked if I had a police record.

I said, “No, but I’ve got a Sting album.”

Grinning at good joke

I’ll Kill Him

If I ever find out the name of the surgeon that screwed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him …

With my bear hands.