Really Funny Short Jokes

A colleciton of really funny short jokesIf we had to choose a favorite type of joke here at LaffGaff, it’d probably be funny short jokes. Maybe it’s just down to our lack of patience (or the modern malaise of wanting everything now), but for us you just can’t beat a clever yet quick short joke.

Anyway, check out our selections below and see what you think. And remember we publish a new joke every day, so be sure to come back regularly for all the latest laughs.

And if you’ve got a really funny short joke of your own that’s not listed here, why not tell us using the Submit A Joke link at the top of the page. We’ll be sure to credit you if we use your joke.



Latest Funny Short Jokes

Queen Albums

I listened to Queen albums for 12 hours in a row, and now I feel a little sick.

It must be the high Mercury content.

Shared Parking

I have a shared parking lot with my neighbor.

I don’t like him much, but I’ve decided to try to be his friend. After all…

We have a lot in common

Last Wish

My grandfather’s last wish was that we convert his ashes into a diamond.

That’s a lot of pressure.

Last Words

The last thing my grandfather said before he died was “Pints, Liters, Gallons!”

That spoke volumes.

Upcoming Cruise

My wife was worried about meeting new people on our upcoming cruise.

I said, “Don’t worry. We’ll all be in the same boat.”

Whistle

I warned my daughter about using her whistle inside and gave her one last chance.

Unfortunately, she blew it.

Twin Girls

My friend Jay recently had twin girls, and wanted to name them after him.

So I suggested Kaye and Elle.

Two Astronauts

First astronaut: “Hey, I can’t find any milk for my coffee.”

Second astronaut: “In space, no one can. Here, use cream.”

Fly Killer

A man walked into a hardware store, picked up a can of fly spray and asked the assistant, “Is this good for wasps?”

He said, “No, it kills them.”

New Gym Machine

I went to the gym and there’s a new machine. I used it for an hour and and ended up feeling sick.

Its good though, it does everything. 

Kit Kats, Mars Bars, Snickers …

Friends References

I can’t believe that even after 15 years of the show ending, people are still making “Friends” references.

No one told me life was gonna be this way.

Dream Job

I got my dream job today. I get my own 200 thousand dollar company car and a corner window with a view of the city…

Being a city bus driver is a dream come true.