Funny School Jokes And Puns
These funny school jokes and puns are in a class of their own! In fact, they're guaranteed to pass any hilarity test!
So whether geometry is your area or words fail you when it comes to languages, we hope you enjoy our collection of the best school jokes.
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because her students were so bright.
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day.
Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" shouts Molly.
"Correct," says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack's pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" she shouts.
"Correct again," says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I'm going to crack it in half!"
Why did the student throw his watch out of the window at school?
He wanted time to fly.
Why was the geometry class always tired?
Because they were all out of shape.
A dad is very concerned about his son's bad grades in math so he decides to register him at a Catholic school.
After his first term there, the son brings home his report card.
It shows he's getting "A"s in math.
The dad is, of course, pleased, but asks his son, "Why are your math grades suddenly so good?"
The son says, "When I walked into the classroom the first day, and I saw that guy on the wall nailed to a plus sign, I knew one thing... This place means business!"
Why did the student take a ladder to school?
Because he was going to high school.
Who's the king of the classroom?
Decimals have a point.
A general rule of grammar is that double negatives are a no-no.
A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question, can go home."
A boy throws his bag out the window.
The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"
The boy says, "Me! I'm going home now."
What's a teacher's favorite nation?
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun had written a note, and stuck it on the apple tray. It read, "Take only one. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Why didn't the skeleton go to the school dance?
Because he had nobody to go with.
Why was school easier for cave people?
Because there was no history to study.
This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom.
So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"
The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."
So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."
When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"
The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."
If you see an improperly lower-cased letter, you must capitalize on it.
Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose her job?
Because she couldn't control her pupils.
Two boys were arguing in class one day when the teacher walked in to the classroom.
The teacher asked them, "Why are you arguing?"
One of the boys replied, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher. "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
What's a chalk board's favorite drink?
One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one then he/she should stand up.
After a minute a boy stands up.
The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.
The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."
Why did the boy study on an airplane?
Because he wanted to get a higher education.
What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil?
Stop going in circles and get to the point.
What's the longest word in the dictionary?
Smiles. Because there's a mile between the first letter and the last.
The teacher said to one of her students one day, "I wish you'd pay a little attention."
The boy replied, "I'm paying as little as I can."
Why was the geometry teacher off school?
Because she'd sprained her angle.
Teaching history is old news.
Mom says to her son, "What did you do in school today?"
Her son replies, "We played a guessing game."
The mom says, "I though you had a math exam?"
The boy says, "That's right."
If a picture is worth a thousand words, then why shouldn't we judge a book by it's cover?
A young boy goes into school one day and says to his teacher, "Would you punish me for something I didn't do?"
His teacher says, "Of course not."
The boy says, "Good. I didn't do my homework."
To steal from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
Why was the broom late for school?
Because he overswept.
What's do witches like best about school?
The teacher is droning away in the classroom one day when he notices a student sleeping at the back of the class.
The teacher shouts to the sleeping student's neighbor, "Hey wake that student up!"
The neighbor yells back, "You put him to sleep, you wake him up!"
Why did the student bring scissors to school?
Because he wanted to cut class.
I was caught studying the periodic table in English class.
It was an elementary mistake.
What's a snake's favorite subject at school?
Kids who have one-to-one tuition are in a class of their own.
How do bees get to school?
School Jokes And Puns
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