Funny School Jokes And Puns
These funny school jokes and puns are in a class of their own! In fact, they're guaranteed to pass any hilarity test!
So whether geometry is your area or words fail you when it comes to languages, we hope you enjoy our collection of the best school jokes...
Because her students were so bright.
Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" shouts Molly.
"Correct," says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack's pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" she shouts.
"Correct again," says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I'm going to crack it in half!"
He wanted time to fly.
Because they were all out of shape.
After his first term there, the son brings home his report card.
It shows he's getting "A"s in math.
The dad is, of course, pleased, but asks his son, "Why are your math grades suddenly so good?"
The son says, "When I walked into the classroom the first day, and I saw that guy on the wall nailed to a plus sign, I knew one thing... This place means business!"
Because he was going to high school.
A boy throws his bag out the window.
The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"
The boy says, "Me! I'm going home now."
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun had written a note, and stuck it on the apple tray. It read, "Take only one. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Because he had nobody to go with.
Because there was no history to study.
So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"
The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."
So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."
When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"
The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."
Because she couldn't control her pupils.
The teacher asked them, "Why are you arguing?"
One of the boys replied, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher. "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
After a minute a boy stands up.
The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.
The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."
Because he wanted to get a higher education.
Stop going in circles and get to the point.
Smiles. Because there's a mile between the first letter and the last.
The boy replied, "I'm paying as little as I can."
Because she'd sprained her angle.
Her son replies, "We played a guessing game."
The mom says, "I though you had a math exam?"
The boy says, "That's right."
His teacher says, "Of course not."
The boy says, "Good. I didn't do my homework."
To steal from many is research.
Because he overswept.
The teacher shouts to the sleeping student's neighbor, "Hey wake that student up!"
The neighbor yells back, "You put him to sleep, you wake him up!"
Because he wanted to cut class.
It was an elementary mistake.
School Jokes And Puns
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