The Best Funny Puns For Kids And Adults
Puns for kids are a type of wordplay joke that play on the fact that words can have more than one meaning. They're one of the oldest forms of jokes and also one of the funniest. They're also great for educating kids and expanding their vocabulary and thinking ability (clean puns, of course!).
Below is a huge selection of the best clean funny puns for kids and adults alike. You can also find more grown-up punny jokes here.
Enjoy these funny puns for kids...
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
This boy said he was going to hit me with the neck of a guitar.
I said, "Is that a fret?"
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
He's all right now.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Whiteboards are remarkable.
My leaf blower doesn't work.
Insect puns bug me.
Would a cardboard belt be a waist of paper?
Never give your uncle an anteater.
I’m very good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don’t know why.
I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from.
Then it dawned on me.
Learning how to collect trash wasn't that hard, I just picked it up as I went along.
A golf ball is a golf ball no matter how you putt it.
If you need help building an ark, I Noah guy.
My dog can do magic tricks.
It's a labracadabrador.
Never marry a tennis player.
Love means nothing to them.
I tried to catch some fog.
I knew a couple who met in a revolving door.
I think they're still going round together.
Did you know taller people sleep longer in bed?
I heard a funny joke about a boomerang earlier.
I'm sure it'll come back to me eventually.
I asked the lion in my wardrobe what he was doing there, he said it was "Narnia Business".
Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?
I was struggling to figure out how lightning works then it struck me.
Sue broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine.
I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday.
I'll tell you what, never again.
I often say to myself, "I can't believe that cloning machine worked!"
Some people say I'm addicted to somersaults but that's just how I roll.
What do you call Dracula with hayfever?
The pollen Count.
Never lie to an x-ray technician.
They can see right through you.
My friend made a joke about a TV controller.
It wasn't remotely funny.
I have a speed bump phobia but I'm slowly getting over it.
I'm working on a device that will read minds.
I'd love to hear your thoughts.
I saw an advert that read: "Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full."
I thought to myself, I can't turn that down.
I thought about becoming a witch, so I tried it for a spell.
Those new corduroy pillows are making headlines.
When it comes to cosmetic surgery, a lot of people turn their noses up.
I went to a restaurant last night and had the Wookie steak.
It was a little Chewy.
Broken puppets for sale.
No strings attached.
Don't drink with ghosts, they can't handle their boos.
I asked my mom to make me a pair of pants.
She was happy to, or at least sew it seams.
If Satan ever lost his hair, there would be hell toupee.
I applied for a job at the local restaurant.
I'm still waiting.
I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.
I've been learning braille.
I'm sure I'll master it once I get a feel for it.
If a judge loves the sound of his own voice, expect a long sentence.
I just walked past a shop that was giving out dead batteries free of charge.
When it came to getting even with my local bus company, I pulled out all the stops.
The best way to communicate with fish is to drop them a line.
I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
If you don't pay your exorcist, will you get repossessed?
It was an emotional wedding.
Even the cake was in tiers.
Once you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
The person who invented the door knock won the No-bell prize.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth.
Then it becomes a soap opera.
The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my house.
I didn’t know what to make of it.
The other day a clown held the door open for me.
I thought it was a nice jester.
I'd tell you my construction joke but I'm still working on it.
There was a recent study that tried to pinpoint the effect that alcohol had on walking.
The result was staggering.
My Grandma is having trouble with her new stair lift.
It's driving her up the wall.
To the guy who invented Zero: Thanks for nothing!
Have you ever tried to eat a clock?
It's very time consuming.
What jumps from cake to cake and smells of almonds?
There was a big paddle sale at the boat store.
It was quite an oar deal.
I tried to finish the left-overs but... foiled again...
My sister was engaged to a man with a wooden leg but she broke it off.
I really wanted a camouflage shirt, but I couldn't find one.
I couldn't work out how to fasten my seatbelt.
Then it clicked.
Did you hear about those new reversible jackets?
I'm excited to see how they turn out.
I'm glad I know sign language, it's pretty handy.
My friend's bakery burned down last night.
Now his business is toast.
A man just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter.
When the cannibal showed up late for lunch, the others gave him the cold shoulder.
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to hospital.
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, the nurse said "No change yet".
How does Moses make his tea?
What do you call a sleeping bull?
I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
Inspecting mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing.
Someone just stole my mood ring.
I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring.
The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
Never trust atoms, they make up everything.
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.
My next poop could spell disaster.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says, "Dam!"
Shout out to everyone wondering what the opposite of "in" is.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda?
He was lucky it was a soft drink.
I don't trust these stairs.
They're always up to something.
Getting paid to sleep would be a dream job.
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory.
All I did was take a day off.
I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn't help me.
I can hear music coming out of my printer.
I think the paper's jammin' again...
It's really difficult to find what you want on eBay.
I was searching for cigarette lighters and found over 15,000 matches.
When a clock is hungry, does it go back four seconds?
I had a neck brace fitted years ago and I've never looked back since.
What do you get if you cross a snake and a lego set?
A boa constructor.
The other week the cops arrived on the scene to find me upside down in my car.
They told me not to be so silly, and to sit properly.
My mom just found out that I've replaced her bed with a trampoline.
She hit the roof.
What do you get when you pour cement on a burglar?
A hardened criminal.
A pet store had a bird contest with no perches necessary.
People in Dubai don’t like the Flintstones, but the people in Abu Dhabi Doo.
My time machine and I go way back.
My fear of moving stairs is escalating.
Why are teddy bears never hungry?
They are always stuffed.
I'm a big fan.
A man ended up in hospital today, covered in wood and hay, with a horse inside him.
His condition is described as stable.
Regular visitors to the dentist are familiar with the drill.
I used to be a train driver but I got sidetracked.
I left my last girlfriend because she wouldn't stop counting.
I wonder what she's up to now.
You would think that, if you pulled a snail's shell off, then it would be able to move faster.
I tried it, but they seem to be more sluggish.
My sister bet me $100 that I couldn't build a working car out of spaghetti.
You should've seen her face as I drove pasta
Where do polar bears vote?
The North Poll.
I did a theatrical performance about puns.
Really it was just a play on words.
My girlfriend asked me to stop impersonating a flamingo.
I had to put my foot down.
When I finally worked out the secret to cloning, I was beside myself.
What does the dentist of the year get?
A little plaque.
How do you kill a circus?
Go for the juggler.
A book just fell on my head.
I've only got my shelf to blame.
I love Switzerland. I’m not sure what the best thing about it is, but their flag is a big plus.
My dad never loved me as a child.
I can't blame him really. I wasn't born until he was an adult.
Someone threw cheese at me.
What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room?
Odor in the court!
I've just written a song about tortillas.
Actually, it's more of a rap.
I shot someone with a starting gun the other day.
I've been charged with a race crime.
You can tell the sex of an ant by dropping it in a bowl of water.
If it sinks: girl ant If it floats: boy ant
Two silk worms had a race.
They ended up in a tie.
Two antennas met, fell in love and eventually got married.
The wedding ceremony wasn't much but the reception was excellent.
I used to be a baker, but I didn't make enough dough.
My Granddad got his tongue shot off in the war but he doesn't talk about it.
Why did the lion spit out the clown?
Because he tasted funny.
The first time I got a universal remote control I thought to myself "This changes everything."
What's purple and 5,000 miles long?
The Grape Wall of China.
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
If I'm not mistaken, Tippex is pretty useless…
Two peanuts are walking down the street.
One is assaulted.
Why can't a bicycle stand up on its own?
Because it is two tired.
If a dog gave birth to puppies near the road would it be cited for littering?
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
Someone ripped some pages out of both ends of my dictionary today.
It just goes from bad to worse!
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants to the game?
In case he got a hole in one.
A new type of broom has come out.
It is sweeping the nation.
Don't trust people that do acupuncture, they're back stabbers.
People are choosing cremation over traditional burial.
It shows that they are thinking out of the box.
When you dream in color, is it a pigment of your imagination?
I haven't slept for ten days.
That would be far too long.
The Best Puns For Kids
If you found our collection of the best puns for kids and adults as funny as us, then check out this page of puns too, and also our stupid jokes for kids, as well as all the rest of our funny puns, such as these: