Smiley grinning at funny joke

Bear With Me

A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman, “I’ll have a whisky and………

…….soda.”

The bartender says, “Why the big pause?”

“Dunno,” says the bear. “I’ve always had them.”

Smiley sticking tongue out at funny joke

Butterflies Joke

My wife said, “Did you know butterflies only live for one day?”

I said, “That’s a myth.”

She said, “No, it’s definitely a butterfly.”

Rabbit laughing at funny joke

Guitar Attack

I was in the pub last night and this bloke said to me, “I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar.”

I said, “Is that a fret?”

Grinning at good joke

Hard To Get Hold Of

“Are you serious – I can’t believe you’ve never had a mobile phone?” asked a girl I was chatting to in a nightclub.

“What if your parents died and someone needed to get hold of you?”

“Well that’s hardly likely to happen, they died 6 years ago!” I said angrily.

“Oh I’m so sorry, you still sound really hurt?” she replied.

I said, “Of course I am, I only heard about it 2 days ago.”

Smiley laughing at extremely funny joke!

Difficult Text

It’s always difficult texting someone to tell them a loved one has passed away…

Especially when your name is Lol.

Smiley laughing at a good joke

Pasta Joke

My sister bet me 100 dollars that I couldn’t build a working car out of spaghetti.

You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta…

Smiley sticking tongue out at funny joke

Unbalanced

I was at the cash machine the other day when a little old lady came up to me and asked me to check her balance for her.

So I pushed her over.