Laughing At Funny Joke

An Inconsiderate Neighbor

My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 AM this morning and asked “Do you know what time it is?”

Can you believe that, 2:30 AM?!

Luckily for him I was still up playing my bagpipes.

Good Jokes

Short-Lived Career

My granddad always used to say to me that the best part of fighting is the make-up sex.

Which probably explains his short-lived career as a boxer…

Really Funny Jokes

I Had A Dream

I had a dream last night where I was driving with one hand and flipping pancakes with the other.

I was tossing and turning all night.

Funny Short Joke

Space Invader

One of my mates told me that I often make people uncomfortable by violating their personal space.

Which was an incredibly unnecessary and hurtful thing to say.

It ruined our bath.

Funny Short Joke

Should Be Enough

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law.

My neighbor said, “Are you going to help?”

I said, “No, six should be enough.”

Women laughing at hilarious joke

Where Has The Time Gone?

I was at a party the other day when I lost my watch.

A bit later I saw a guy standing on it while sexually harassing a girl.

I walked up to the guy and punched him in the face.

No one does that to a girl.. not on my watch.

Funny Short Joke

Carrying A Knife

I’ve started carrying a knife since an attempted mugging a few years ago…

Since then my mugging attempts have been a lot more successful.

Funny One Liners

He Needs To Relax

A guy goes to the doctors and says, “Doctor, I keep having these alternating, recurring dreams. First I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam; then I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam. It’s driving me crazy. What’s wrong with me?”

The doctor replies: “It’s very simple. You’re two tents.”