Women laughing at hilarious joke

Dogged Pursuit – Funny Dog Joke

There was a knock at my door earlier. When I opened the door a policeman was stood there…

“Mr Jones?”, he asked.

“Yes,” I replied.

“I’m afraid your dog’s just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.”

I said, “I don’t think so – my dog doesn’t have a bike.”

Gnome laughing at funny jokes

Eating My Tea

I was eating my tea last night when I suddenly thought to myself…

“This milk must be seriously out of date.”

Laughing At Funny Joke

Epileptic Goldfish

A blonde woman goes to the vet with her goldfish. “I think it’s got epilepsy,” she tells the vet.

The vet takes a look and says, “It seems calm enough to me.”

The blonde says, “Wait, I haven’t taken it out of the bowl yet.”

Really Funny Short Jokes

An Invisibility Cloak

I’ve invented an invisibility cloak – anything under becomes completely invisible.

I’m still working out the kinks though… You can still see the cloak itself.

Short Funny Jokes

What Was I Thinking Of

I was in an English exam and they asked “Write the past tense of ‘Think'”.

I thought and thought about this for ages.

Eventually, I went for ‘Thunk’.

Laughing At Funny Joke

An Inconsiderate Neighbor

My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 AM this morning and asked “Do you know what time it is?”

Can you believe that, 2:30 AM?!

Luckily for him I was still up playing my bagpipes.

Good Jokes

Short-Lived Career

My granddad always used to say to me that the best part of fighting is the make-up sex.

Which probably explains his short-lived career as a boxer…

Really Funny Jokes

I Had A Dream

I had a dream last night where I was driving with one hand and flipping pancakes with the other.

I was tossing and turning all night.

Funny Short Joke

Space Invader

One of my mates told me that I often make people uncomfortable by violating their personal space.

Which was an incredibly unnecessary and hurtful thing to say.

It ruined our bath.

Funny Short Joke

Should Be Enough

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law.

My neighbor said, “Are you going to help?”

I said, “No, six should be enough.”