Smiley giving thumbs up to funny joke

Wheel Boss

I rang the bicycle factory and asked to speak to whoever was in charge of wheels.

The person who answered said they weren’t there.

I said, “Okay, who are you?”

They said, “His spokes person”.

Rabbit laughing at funny joke

Good Advice

My Dad always used to tell me, “Don’t be quick to find faults.”

He was a lovely man. Terrible geologist though.

Idiot smiley laughing at hilarious joke

Alphabet Soup

When I was little my Dad used to feed me alphabet soup, claiming that I loved it.

I didn’t really – he was just putting words in my mouth.

Smiley in sunglasses laughing at really funny joke

Bad Impression

My wife has kicked me out of the house because of my bad Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions.

But don’t worry…

I’ll return.

Rabbit laughing at funny joke

Hard To Cope

The only birthday gift I got this year was a deck of sticky playing cards.

I find that very hard to deal with.

Smiley in sunglasses laughing at really funny joke

Marriage Phobia

The doctor told me I might have a marriage phobia and asked if I thought I had any symptoms.

I said, “I can’t say I do.”

He said, “Yeah, that’s the main one.”

Smiley laughing at funny one liner

Nice Find!

I found a hat with $17.50 in it.

I thought this other guy was going to pick it up.

But he was too busy juggling.

Idiot smiley laughing at hilarious joke

Probably Not Safe

It’s probably not safe for me to be driving my car right now.

But hey, bad brakes have never stopped me before.