Laughing at funny short joke

LGBTQ

Every time I ask someone what the acronym LGBTQ stands for…

I can never get a straight answer.

Smiley laughing at funny one liner

Shipping Magnate

If someone makes their fortune in ships, we call them a shipping magnate.

If someone makes their fortune in oil, we call them an oil magnate.

What do you call someone who makes their fortune selling fridges?

Idiot smiley laughing at hilarious joke

Excuse My French

When I was a kid, my parents would always say, “Excuse my French” after a swear word.

I’ll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any French.

Smiley laughing at extremely funny joke!

Different Clothes

My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with wearing different clothes every half an hour.

I said, “Wait, I can change.”

Smiley laughing at a good joke

Strange Job

My job is to drill holes in things and then bolt them together.

At first it’s boring, but later on, it’s riveting.

Smiley sticking tongue out at funny joke

Martial Arts

I saw a Korean martial artist holding out a basket of donuts. When I asked if I could take two, he said no.

I said, “Can I at least Taekwondo?”

Smiley laughing at extremely funny joke!

Relationship Game

My girlfriend said to me last night, “You treat our relationship like some kind of game!”

Which unfortunately cost her 12 points and a bonus chance.