Joke Of The Day

Every joke of the day we've published!Here at LaffGaff, we publish a brand new funny joke of the day each and every day of the year. 

So make sure you keep coming back for your daily laughs!

Here's all our daily jokes (they're ideal for celebrating International Joke Day, which is on July 1st):



Daily Jokes

Race Cars

I was in a bar the other day when a girl asked me, “What do you do?”

I said, “I race cars.”

She asked, “Do you win many races?”

I said, “No, the cars are much faster.”

Own Boss

I was in a taxi today and the driver said, “I love my job. I’m my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do.”

I said, “Turn left here.”

Last Words

The last thing my grandfather said before he died was “Pints, Liters, Gallons!”

That spoke volumes.

Morning Coffee

I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this morning, when I thought to myself…

I really need to wash some mugs.

Upcoming Cruise

My wife was worried about meeting new people on our upcoming cruise.

I said, “Don’t worry. We’ll all be in the same boat.”

Whistle

I warned my daughter about using her whistle inside and gave her one last chance.

Unfortunately, she blew it.

Twin Girls

My friend Jay recently had twin girls, and wanted to name them after him.

So I suggested Kaye and Elle.

Two Astronauts

First astronaut: “Hey, I can’t find any milk for my coffee.”

Second astronaut: “In space, no one can. Here, use cream.”

Fly Killer

A man walked into a hardware store, picked up a can of fly spray and asked the assistant, “Is this good for wasps?”

He said, “No, it kills them.”

New Gym Machine

I went to the gym and there’s a new machine. I used it for an hour and and ended up feeling sick.

Its good though, it does everything. 

Kit Kats, Mars Bars, Snickers …

Friends References

I can’t believe that even after 15 years of the show ending, people are still making “Friends” references.

No one told me life was gonna be this way.

Airplane Meal

I’m on a plane and the lunch choices are white meat chicken or German sausage. Unfortunately, I’m seated in the last row.

I’m hoping for the breast, but preparing for the wurst.

Dream Job

I got my dream job today. I get my own 200 thousand dollar company car and a corner window with a view of the city…

Being a city bus driver is a dream come true.

Gravity

Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. What do you get when you remove it?

Gravy.