Joke Of The Day

Every joke of the day we've published!Here at LaffGaff, we publish a brand new funny joke of the day each and every day of the year. 

So make sure you keep coming back for your daily laughs!

Here's all our daily jokes (they're ideal for celebrating International Joke Day, which is on July 1st):



Daily Jokes

News Anchor

My wife is threatening to kick me out of the house because of my obsession with acting like a news anchor.

More on this after the break.

Queen Albums

I listened to Queen albums for 12 hours in a row, and now I feel a little sick.

It must be the high Mercury content.

Shared Parking

I have a shared parking lot with my neighbor.

I don’t like him much, but I’ve decided to try to be his friend. After all…

We have a lot in common

Last Wish

My grandfather’s last wish was that we convert his ashes into a diamond.

That’s a lot of pressure.

Race Cars

I was in a bar the other day when a girl asked me, “What do you do?”

I said, “I race cars.”

She asked, “Do you win many races?”

I said, “No, the cars are much faster.”

Own Boss

I was in a taxi today and the driver said, “I love my job. I’m my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do.”

I said, “Turn left here.”

Last Words

The last thing my grandfather said before he died was “Pints, Liters, Gallons!”

That spoke volumes.

Morning Coffee

I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this morning, when I thought to myself…

I really need to wash some mugs.

Upcoming Cruise

My wife was worried about meeting new people on our upcoming cruise.

I said, “Don’t worry. We’ll all be in the same boat.”

Whistle

I warned my daughter about using her whistle inside and gave her one last chance.

Unfortunately, she blew it.