Funny Fart Jokes For Kids & Adults
We may be childish but we love funny fart jokes. And you can rest assured that these particular funny fart jokes for kids and adults alike certainly won't stink the place out. Their awesome hilarity will definitely linger in the air.
So we hope you enjoy this collection of funny fart jokes as much as us; if you do be sure to check out our page of funny poop jokes too.
One of the guests was appalled and said indignantly, "How dare you fart in front of my wife!"
I said, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was her turn."
You don't mind your own but you can't stand other people's.
Luckily the music was really loud so I timed my farts with the beat, and after a couple of songs I began to feel better.
As I left the bus though, I noticed everyone was starting at me in disgust.
That's when I remembered I was listening to my iPod.
I discovered that at my daughter's school concert.
A man with diarrhea chancing a fart.
Until he spends a day with a girl he really likes.
Unfortunately, I let one rip.
She browses around for a bit before she spots a gorgeous diamond bracelet which she goes over to inspect.
As she bends over to look at it more closely, she accidently breaks wind.
She's very embarrassed and looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident as she prays that a sales person doesn't appear right now.
But as she turns around her worst nightmare is realized as she sees a salesman standing right behind her.
The salesman stays as cool as a cucumber and shows complete professionalism as he greets the lady by saying, "Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?"
The lady is now a little more confident that she has got away with here little accient and asks, "How much is this lovely bracelet?"
The salesman replies, "Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you're going to crap yourself when I tell you the price."
At least now the neighbors will never invite me round to see their holiday photos again.
The husband turned to her and said, "Replace the battery in your hearing aid."
I don't think the priest was too impressed.
A noble gas.
It must have been a really bad one - we work on a submarine.
So I farted.
She's sitting in her new room, when she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair.
Two attentive nurses immediately straighten her up.
After a while, she starts to tilt to the other side.
Again, the nurses rush over to put her upright. This goes on all morning.
Later, her family arrives to see how she's getting on and they ask, "Are they treating you all right?"
The old woman replies, "It's pretty nice... except they won't let you fart."
But put it this way, she'll never be hit by a ship.
I didn't know whether to laugh or be scared.
We were both level par after four holes when I dropped one at the fifth.
He missed his next putt, the smell was that bad.
My wife shouted, "Urghh! That stinks!"
It must have been a bad one - she was downstairs at the time.
Every single morning of those thirty years, the man would wake up and let rip an enormous fart, much to his long suffering wife's annoyance.
"One of these days, you'll fart your guts," she always complained.
Then finally, she couldn't take it any more and decided to get her revenge.
So she got up early and placed some turkey giblets in the bed next to her husband's backside.
She was downstairs making a drink when she heard her his usual morning fart reverberate through the floorboards.
But this time it was followed by a scream.
Twenty minutes later her husband walked gingerly down the stairs.
"You were right all along," he said. "I finally did fart my guts out. But by the grace of God, and these two fingers, I managed to push them back in."
It's the only plan I've ever followed through with.
I said to him, "I've got a problem with farting when I'm nervous."
He said, "I know," as he finished my prostate examination.
A fart with a lump in it.
The woman said, "Can you hold, please."
He was confused and said, "Is there anything else I should know?"
I said, "Yeah, I've got a huge boil on my butt."
The doctor said, "Ahh, that'll be it - I'll lance the boil and you'll be fine."
I asked him, "Why's that then?"
He said, "Didn't you know? Abscess makes the fart go Honda."
So deaf people can enjoy them too.
Funny Fart Jokes
If you liked our collection of funny fart jokes, be sure to check out the rest of our site for lots more laughs and funny jokes, such as these: