A selection of unbelievable and hilariously funny Family Fortunes quiz show answersFunny Family Fortunes Answers

The UK TV quiz show Family Fortunes surveys people and contestants have to guess the most popular answers.

Once the top answers have been guessed and only one or two less popular answers remain, it can get very difficult with sometimes hilarious results as the under-pressure contestant struggles for an answer.

Below are some of the best funny Family Fortunes answers, a few of which are admittedly quite witty and probably said as a joke…

A boy’s name beginning with the letter J:

“Gerald.”

Something your car can have two of:

“Wheels.”

Something you borrow from your partner:

“Shoes.”

Something you wouldn’t try even once:

“Sex on a train.”

An orange vegetable:

“Aubergine.”

A French ferry port:

“Dover.”

An animal you cannot fit into a Mini car:

“Mouse.”

A food that has one or more holes in it:

“Spaghetti.”

Something made of wool:

“Cotton wool.”

An animal with three letters:

“Lion.”

A bad place to fall asleep:

“Concrete.”

Something you mount:

“A mountain.”

A place where you wouldn’t expect to meet a nun:

“A brothel.”

Something you lose when you get older:

“Your purse.”

A sport which involves throwing something:

“Tennis.”

A type of bean:

“Lesbian.”

Something you would play with in the bath:

“A bazooka.”

Someone you wouldn’t swear in front of:

“Yourself.”

A country where Arabic is spoken:

“Nigeria.”

Someone or something whose existence has never been proven:

“Hitler.”

A number you might have to memorize:

“Seven.”

Something that makes you close your eyes:

“Dark.”

Something that comes in pairs:

“Rabbits.”

A way of toasting someone:

“Over a fire.”

An instrument you can play while walking in the street:

“A cello.”

A type of oil:

“Sewing-machine oil.”

A word beginning with Z:

“Xylophone.”

A slang word for a girl:

“Slag.”

An animal with horns:

“A bee.”

A medieval weapon:

“Hand-grenade.”

Something made of wool:

“A sheep.”

Something a bridegroom might wear:

“A dress.”

Someone you wouldn’t expect to see in a strip club:

“Animals.”

An animal with a long tail:

“A rabbit.”

Something a train-spotter would have in his pocket:

“A magnifying glass.”

Something you put out for the birds:

“Worms.”

Something that Father Christmas does when he comes to your house:

“Feeds your pets.”

A way to prevent snoring:

“Put a pillow over his face.”

A word used to describe a very hot day:

“A very hot day.”

Someone who works early hours:

“A burglar.”

A song from ‘The Sound Of Music’:

“Dancing Queen.”

Something made to be wheeled around:

“A hammer.”

Something that’s nice to wear next to your skin:

“Pants.”

A reason for kneeling:

“To be beheaded.”

A famous Dick:

“Carrot.”

A wild animal that’s native to Britain:

“A bear.”

Any dance apart from the waltz:

“The ball dance.”

Something that comes in 7’s:

“Fingers.”

A vocalist known by only one name:

“Michael Jackson.”

A yellow fruit:

“Orange.”

A boy mentioned in a nursery rhyme:

“Little Red Riding Hood.”

Something associated with Queen Victoria:

“Her husbands.”

Something you hide in your socks when you go swimming:

“Your legs.”

A place you would keep a pen:

“A zoo.”

Something you beat:

“An apple.”

Something associated with rain:

“Water.”

An animal that lives in the English countryside:

“A lion.”

Something you make into a ball:

“Eggs.”

A game that uses a black ball:

“Darts.”

A popular TV soap:

“Dove.”

Something that gives you goosebumps:

“Mumps.”

Other than ‘carrier’, a type of bag:

“Horse.”

Something you might find in a garage:

“A grand piano.”

Something a Frenchman would say:

“On Garde.”

A fast animal:

“A hippo.”

Something you keep in the garden:

“A cat.”

A character from Little Red Riding Hood:

“Hansel and Gretel.”

Something that has a shell:

“Batman.”

Something associated with Liverpool:

“The Yellow Brick Road.”

Something a policeman might say:

“Spread ’em.”

Something that frightens Dracula:

“The King of the Vampires.”

A non-living object with legs:

“A plant.”

An animal associated with a nursery rhyme:

“Andy Pandy.”

A mode of transport that you can walk in:

“Your shoes.”

An animal with big ears:

“A bear.”

Something you do on water:

“Wallpaper.”

A TV gameshow with the word ‘family’ in the title:

“The Generation Game.”

A musical instrument you can play in the bath:

“A drum kit.”

A sign of the Zodiac:

“April.”

Something associated with Egypt:

“Cigars.”

A part of your body you only have one of:

“Your big toe.”

Something you pull:

“A potato.”

An animal used as a form of transport:

“A turtle.”

A famous Phil or Philip:

“Phil Johnson.”

A nickname for a slim person:

“Slimmy.”

A measurement of liquid:

“Paint.”

A habit people try to give up:

“Spitting.”

A Thunderbirds character:

“Doctor Spock.”

A seaside resort on the south coast:

“Rio de Janeiro.”

Something with a red light on it:

“A Dalek.”

Something that makes you scream:

“A squirrel.”

A food than can easily be eaten without chewing:

“Chips.”

A type of record:

“A floppy disk.”

A type of large cat:

“Persian.”

A job that a working dog does:

“A slave.”

Something people might be allergic to:

“Skiing.”

An occupation where you need a torch:

“A burglar.”

A well known superstition:

“Running in front of a car.”

Something you use a microchip in:

“A fish-fryer.”

A dangerous race:

“The Arabs.”

A game played in the dark:

“Charades.”

Some famous brothers:

“Bonnie and Clyde.”

A jacket potato topping:

“Jam.”

A part of the body you have more than two of:

“Arms.”

Something you find on a fire engine:

“Coal.”

A famous royal:

“Mail.”

Something you do before going to bed:

“Sleep.”

An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers:

“A horse.”

An animal you see at the zoo:

“Dog.”

Something you might do in a power cut:

“Read a book.”

A famous Parisian landmark:

“Hawaii.”

A weapon in the game of Cluedo:

“Dice.”

A famous Irishman:

“Disraeli.”

The first place detectives look for fingerprints:

“The floor.”

Something you associate with the sea:

“A coffin.”

An ingredient in chicken stuffing:

“Chicken.”

A famous Arthur:

“Shakespeare.”

A type of cut:

“Skull.”

Something people take to the beach:

“Turkey.”

A reason someone digs a hole in the road:

“Grave digger.”

Something a girl should know about a man before marrying him:

“His name.”

Something that floats in the bath:

“Water.”

A bird with a long neck:

“A blackbird.”

A bird with a long neck (2):

“Naomi Campbell.”

An item of clothing a woman might borrow from a man:

“Underpants.”

Something taken from a hotel as a souvenir:

“The lamps.”

Something you keep in a garden shed:

“A gardener.”

A song with moon in the title:

“Blue Suede Moon.”

A famous cowboy:

“Buck Rogers.”

A famous Wild-West character:

“Wild Bill Eacock.”

Something you’d associate with the three bears:

“Red Riding Hood.”

Fruit used in fruit salad:

“Cucumber.”

Something you wear on the beach:

“A deckchair.”

A method of cooking fish:

“Cod.”

Something you borrow from your partner:

“Shoes.”

A part of the body beginning with N:

“Knee.”

A famous Scotsman:

“Vinnie Jones.”

A famous Scotsman (2):

“Jock.”

A kind of ache:

“Fillet-o-fish.”

Something you open other than a door:

“Your bowels.”

Something with a hole in it:

“A window.”

Something you do in the bathroom:

“Decorate.”

Something you put on walls:

“Roofs.”

A domestic animal:

“A leopard.”

Something red:

“My cardigan.”

Something in the garden that’s green:

“The shed.”

Something a blind man might use:

“A sword.”

The last thing you take off before going to bed:

“Your feet.”

Something that flies without an engine:

“A bicycle with wings.”

Funny Family Fortunes Answers

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