As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said…
“You know, one would have been enough.”
“Am I mentioned in the will?” asked the nephew nervously.
“You sure are,” replied the lawyer. “It says right here… To my niece Susan I bequeath one hundred and fifty thousand dollars, to my cousin Alice seventy five thousand dollars, and to my nephew Paul who was always asking if he was mentioned in the will, I say, ‘Hi Paul’.”
This guy always smoked two cigarettes at a time. If anyone ever asked him why, he would always answer, “I’m smoking one for myself and one for my brother who is in jail.”
One day he was only smoking one cigarette. Someone asked him “Is your brother out of jail?”
He replied, “No, I quit.”