We’ve got some cracking egg puns here and that’s no yolk. If these don’t make you come out of your shell and laugh, nothing will. So if you like your jokes funny side up, you’re sure to get egg-cited at these funny egg puns and egg jokes.
We hope you enjoy this collection of egg puns…
Egg Puns And Jokes
Now I can’t find them.
I think they’ve been mislaid.
One egg is un oeuf.
You crack me up.
So I bought a dozen eggs.
Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
The bartender asks, “Why have you got a fried egg on your head?”
The man replies, “Because boiled eggs fall off.”
Through the eggs-it.
On a s-egg-way.
He beats the eggs.
Just have your eggs fried.
Over Easy Rider.
It scrambled up.
She wanted to hatchet.
Funny side up.
To get egg-ucated.
A y-oak tree.
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
Just one. After that your stomach won’t be empty.
“Without breaking eggs?” I finished for him.
“No. You can’t make an omelette,” he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
Hard to beat, aren’t they?
That’ll surprise a few chickens.
The woman behind the counter asked me, “How would you like your eggs cooked.”
I said, “Does it affect the price?”
“No, not at all.” she replied.
I said, “In that case I’d like them cooked with bacon, sausage and tomato please.”
I prefer them poached.
“There!” he said proudly. “I bet your Mum can’t produce eggs without hens, can she?”
“Oh yes, she can,” said the boy. “She keeps ducks.”
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
A brick layer.
“Careful,” he shouted, “CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They’re going to STICK! Careful! CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!”
The wife stared at him like he was crazy.
She said, “What on earth is the matter with you? Do you think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “I wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving.”
In the egg-loo.
Surely they’d lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
Because of all the fowl language.
The doctor asks, “How long has he been like this?”
The woman replies, “Three years.”
The doctor exclaims, “Three years! Why didn’t you bring him in sooner?”
The woman says, “We needed the eggs.”
It seemed a bit excessive walking out with them in separate baskets.
The first egg says “It’s boiling in here”.
The second egg says “Wow! A talking egg!”
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
And makes a real mess.
I’m not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don’t lay eggs.
Because they can’t take a yolk.
I’ve never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
But suddenly today he’s eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He’s full of surprises.
An alarm cluck.
Nice try, basket industry.
I’m not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
Because they’re eggs.
He sees a sign in the window of a restaurant that says, “Try our Exotic Breakfast now” so he walks in and sits down at a table.
The waitress comes over and asks what he wants.
The man asks, “What’s your Exotic Breakfast?”
“Baked tongue of chicken,” she proudly replies
The man shouts, “Baked tongue of chicken! Have you any idea how disgusting that is? I’d never even think about eating anything that came out of a chicken’s mouth! Urrghhh!!”
The waitress is a little taken aback, but stays calm and asks him, “No problem, sir. What would you prefer, then?”
The man says, “Just bring me some scrambled eggs.”
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
Egg Puns And Egg Jokes
If you enjoyed our selection of funny egg puns and egg jokes, why not check out the rest of our site for lots more funny jokes and laughs. For example, check out our funny owl jokes, our funny cheese jokes, our popsicle jokes and our funny banana jokes.