I was in a bar last night when the bartender said to me, “I see your glass is empty. Would you like another one?”
I said, “Why would I want two empty glasses?”
A priest is baptizing this guy one day.
As he dips him in the water three times, he says “Joe, from now on you will be known as Matthew. From this day forth you are to shed your sinful ways and that includes no more gambling or alcohol.”
Later that day the guy goes home and heads straight for the fridge.
He grabs a bottle of beer and dips it in the sink. As he does so, he says “From this day on, you will be known as green tea.”