Hilarious Jokes

Funny Baptism Joke

A priest is baptizing this guy one day.

As he dips him in the water three times, he says “Joe, from now on you will be known as Matthew. From this day forth you are to shed your sinful ways and that includes no more gambling or alcohol.”

Later that day the guy goes home and heads straight for the fridge.

He grabs a bottle of beer and dips it in the sink. As he does so, he says “From this day on, you will be known as green tea.”

Funny Short Joke

Funny Jesus Joke

Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant. Jesus asks for a table for 26. The head waiter says, “But there’s only 13 of you.”

Jesus says, “Yeah, we’re all going to sit on the same side.”

Women laughing at hilarious joke

Funny Mummy Joke

A mummy phones a restaurant and asks to reserve a table for the Pharaoh Sakrakhotep I.

The woman at the restaurant says, “Could you spell it out, please?”

The mummy says, “Of course: bird, two triangles, wavy line, bird again, jackal’s head, and a scarab.”

Gnome laughing at funny jokes

Funny Air Hostess Joke

I was on a flight the other day when the air hostess came up to me and said, “Excuse me sir, would you like to have dinner?”

I said, “What are the options?”

She said, “Yes and No.”