A magical collection of funny Disney jokes and punsDisney Jokes & Puns

There's something magical about the world of Disney, and there's something magical about these hilarious Disney jokes and puns too.

If you love all things Disney, you'll love these. Enjoy!

I went to the doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I stand up quickly, I see Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy."

He said, "How long have you been getting these Disney spells?"

Why was Tigger's head stuck in the toilet?

Because he was looking for Pooh.

What time does Donald Duck wake up?

At the quack of dawn.

What did Snow White say when she was waiting for her photos?

Some day my prints will come.

What kind of fairy doesn't take a bath?


What does Ariel like on her toast?


What did Pooh Bear say when Rabbit offered him some more honey?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.

What kind of car does Luke Skywalker drive?

A Toy-Yoda.

What is Tarzan's favorite Christmas Carol?

Jungle Bells.

How does Mickey feel when Minnie is mad at him?


Which Disney character can count the highest?

Buzz Lightyear - he can count to infinity and beyond.

Why did Mickey Mouse go into space?

Because he wanted to find Pluto.

What is Captain Jack Sparrow's favorite restaurant?


Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Because he can Neverland.

Why does Alice ask so many questions?

Because she's in Wonderland.

What did Daisy Duck say when she bought lipstick?

"Put it on my bill."

Why did the lions go to Simba's naming ceremony?

Because it was the mane event.

Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?

Because she'll "Let it Go."

Why would Snow White make a good judge?

Because she's the fairest one of all.

What Disney character likes to fix things?


What did the 101 Dalmatians say after eating dinner?

That hit the spot.

Two blondes had driven across the country to see Disney World in Florida.

As they approached it and got onto the final stretch of highway, they saw a sign saying "Disney World left".

After thinking for a minute, the driver blonde said "Oh well!" and started driving back home.

Who's Mickey Mouse's favorite pop star? Britney Ears.

Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan are in a Chinese restaurant and Luke's having trouble eating with the chopsticks.

Finally, Obi-Wan says, "Use the forks, Luke."

What does Pooh Bear call his girlfriend?


What is Grumpy's favorite fruit?

Sour grapes.

Why can't you trust Scar?

Because he's a lion.

What do you get when you cross Huey, Dewey & Louie with a cow?

Milk and Quackers.

Why was Cinderella terrible at soccer?

Because she was always running away from the ball.

What kind of shoes does Simba wear?

Heir Jordans.

What kind of car does Minnie drive?

A Minnie-van.

What is Mickey's favorite treat?

Mice cream.

Why did Jasmine go to the fruit stand in the marketplace?

She was looking for a date.

Why isn't it so great being a Dwarf?

Because 6 out of 7 Dwarves aren't Happy.

Why was Cinderella bad at baseball?

Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.

What do you call a pirate who skips school?

Captain Hook-y.

What did Mickey Mouse say when Minnie Mouse asked if he was listening?

I'm all ears.

Which is a cow's favorite Disney Princess?


Why doesn't Eeyore have any friends?

Because he plays with Pooh all day.

How does Luke Skywalker get through the forest?


Why did Captain Hook cross the road?

To shop at the second-hand store.

What should you say if Donald throws a ball at you?


Why did Woody give Bullseye some cough syrup?

Because he was a little horse.

Why didn't Anna & Elsa's parents teach them the whole alphabet?

Because they got lost at C.

How much did it cost Captain Jack Sparrow to have his ears pierced?

A buck an ear.

Why did Dopey take a box of crayons with him into the bedroom?

Snow White asked him to draw the curtains.

Which Disney movie is about a stupid boyfriend?

Dumb Beau.

What's the Cheshire Cat's favorite drink?

Evaporated milk.

What's Minnie's favorite thing to wear?

A Minnie-skirt.

Why does Ariel wear sea shells?

Because D shells are too big and B shells are too small.

Who's the funniest Disney princess?


What do you say to Simba when he's walking too slow?


Why did Dopey stare at the label on the orange juice all day?

Because the carton said concentrate.

Where does Ariel go when one of her friends is missing?

The Lost-and-Flounder Department.

Who's the smartest Disney character?

Gaston - he won the no Belle prize.

Why did Sleepy take firewood to bed with him?

He wanted to sleep like a log.

What kind of blush does Mulan wear?

Mulan Rouge.

What does EPCOT stand for?

Every person comes out tired.

What does MGM stand for?

Mickey's got money.

Disney Puns & Jokes

If you enjoyed our collection of Disney jokes and puns, be sure to check out the rest of our site for lots more laughs including these:

A collection of funny Star Wars jokes and puns

A selection of so bad they're funny Dad jokes

A selection of the most funny jokes for kids

These funny pirate jokes and puns will have you hooked!

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