Dirty Riddles For Adults

The answers to these seemingly dirty riddles for adults aren’t exactly what they appear to be.

Give them a try and see just how dirty your mind is!

Warning – be aware these riddles are only suitable for adults, not for kids.

What goes in dry and hard but comes out soft and wet?

What four letter word that ends in “k” means the same as intercourse?

Your finger fits right in it. You play with it when you’re bored. Once you’re married, you’re stuck with the same one forever. What is it?

What’s six inches long, goes in your mouth, and is more fun if it vibrates?

You play with it at night in bed. you’re not allowed to fiddle with it a work. Only very special people are allowed to touch it. What is it?

What’s long and hard and has cum in it?

What does every woman have that starts with a “V” and that she can use to get what she wants?

What goes up, lets out a load, and then goes back down?

What does a cow have four of that a woman only has two of?

I sometimes cause pain when I go in. I’ll fill your holes if you ask me to. I ask you to spit not swallow. What am I?

What do men keep in their pants that their partners sometimes blow?

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s is really long. Michael J. Fox’s is really short. Mickey Mouse’s isn’t human. Madonna doesn’t have one. What is it?

What does a dog do that you can step into?

What starts with “p” and ends with “orn” and is really popular in the movie industry?

What four letter word begins with “f” and ends with “k”, and if you can’t get one you can use your hands instead?

It’s fun to do but you hate knowing your parents do it too. What is it?

What four letter word ends in “it” and can be found at the bottom of bird cages?

Every man has one. Some are big, some are small. It feels great when you blow it, but it drips if you aren’t careful. What is it?

What word starts with “c” and ends with “t” and is synonymous with pussy?

What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, has choked people when used improperly, and works best when jerked?

What does a man have that gets bigger if it’s properly stimulated?

What’s white, gooey, sticky, and better to spit than swallow?

What does a man have in his trousers that a lady doesn’t want in her face?

It involves a bed. Some people prefer it on top, while others prefer it on the bottom. What is it?

I’m hard and hairy on the outside but soft and wet on the inside. My name begins with “c”, ends in “t”, and there’s a “u” and “n” in between them. What am i?

What’s beautiful and natural, but gets long and prickly if it isn’t trimmed regularly?

I have a stiff shaft and my tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. What am I?

I go in hard and come out soft. I never mind if you blow me. What am I?

If you liked these dirty adult riddles, check out our other riddles and brainteasers too, including these:

Christmas Riddles

Easy Riddles For Kids

What Am I? Riddles

Tricky Riddles

Really Hard Riddles

Math Riddles