Colonoscopies themselves are obviously no joke, but that's not to say that humor isn't a great way to lighten a serious situation.
So we hope you enjoy our collection of funny colonoscopy jokes.
He says, "Darn, some asshole has my pen."
There were three other guys in the waiting room.
The doctor came through and explained what has happening to the four of us. He said that I was having the gastroscopy, which is the camera down the throat and the other three were there for a colonoscopy, which is the camera up the butt. He then asked if any of us had any questions.
I said: "Yes. Can I go first?"
The first guy asks the second, "What are you in for?"
"Camera down the throat." the second guy replies.
"Oh, endoscopy?" the first guy asks.
The second guy says, "Yeah. Checking for stomach cancer. How about you?"
"Camera up the butt" the first guy says.
"Oh colonoscopy, checking for bowel cancer?" asks the second guy.
The first guy says, "No, my neighbor was sunbathing and my wife caught me taking a photo."
It's the crew that's the killer...
I said to him, "Can you back that up a little, it's irritating my tonsils.
They called it "Odds and Ends".
The first guy says, "I'm a pimp and so I drive a cheap Escort."
The second guy says, "I'm a herpetologist and so I drive a Dodge Viper."
The third guy says, "I'm a proctologist, and I drive a brown Probe."
The proctologist does the exam, and then discusses the results with her.
He ends by saying, "Do you have any questions for me, Mrs. Smith?"
The little old lady looks at him scoldingly and says "Yes. Does your mother know what you're doing?"
And I have the video from my colonoscopy to prove it.
I said, "Sorry I only lie on my right side. I always tell the truth on my left side.
The next day when I got home from work my wife said, "The doctor called with your colonoscopy results. Good news - they found your head."
One day, as was probably inevitable, he accidentally swallows it.
So he goes to see a proctologist without telling him what his exact problem is.
The doctor runs the sigmoidoscope up his backside and then screams.
The guy asks him, "What's the matter, doc?"
The proctologist replies, "I don't know! I've looked up a lot of butts before, but never one that looked back at me!"
I said, "I haven't got an erection."
They said, "No, but I do."
The picture was crap.
She said, "Your head is so far up your ass surely you can see what's going on up there yourself?"
"The screen is for my benefit, Mr. Jones," the doctor said, "and this isn't my first colonoscopy."
If you enjoyed our funny colonoscopy jokes, why not check out the rest of our site for lots more funny jokes and humor, including these: