Cheese Jokes And Cheese PunsCheese Jokes And Cheese Puns

These cheese jokes are cheesy in more ways than one!

But brie-the in and relax and see if you camembert our cheese puns. 

We hope you enjoy this selection of the very best cheese jokes and puns! And if you do, don't forget to spread them...

A tornado destroyed a French cheese factory.

All that was left was de Brie.

I was walking down the street the other day when this kid threw some cheese at me.

I thought, "That's not very mature."

How do the Welsh eat their cheese?

Caerphilly.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.

What cheese do you use to coax a bear from a tree?

Come-on-bear!

I had a dream last night where I ate cheese.

Now I'm having a nightmare day.

How did Mr. Cheese paint his wife?

He Double Gloucester.

What are cheese puffs made of?

Wotsit matter?

What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier.

I've got an addiction to Cheddar cheese.

It's only mild though.

Which genre of music appeals to most cheeses?

R 'n' Brie.

Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?

Moat-zarella.

What do you call a cheese factory from the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.

My wife was preparing lunch today when she asked, "Honey, where's the cheese grater?"

I replied, "Some would say France, others would say England. It depends on your personal preference."

Why does cheese look sensible?

Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.

So I went to a party last night, and brought loads of cheese to share with everyone, but I don't understand why there is Stiltons left?!

What cheese belongs in a psychiatric ward?

Em-mental.

The other day this guy threatened to throw dough, cheese and tomatoes at me.

I said, "You wanna pizza me?"

My girlfriend thinks it's hilarious to steal my soft creamy cheese.

The laughing cow.

Why did the Greek woman stop eating cheese?

Because she was getting Feta and Feta.

Which cheese is made backwards?

Edam.

Why didn't the cheese want to get sliced?

It had grater plans.

What do you call a cheese with curly hair?

Perm-esan.

What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?

Hallomi.

When should you go on a cheese diet?

When you need to Cheddar a few pounds.

What's Jay-Z's favorite cheese?

Brie-once.

This guy threw some cheese at me yesterday.

How dairy.

What's the best cheese to hide a horse behind?

Marscapone.

How do you get a mouse to smile?

Say cheese.

A stone and a cheese were having a fight.

The cheese was winning, but the Roquefort back.

What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Looking Gouda.

I walked up to the cheese counter in the store last week.

I interrupted him and he had to start again.

What's a cannibal's favorite cheese?

Limb-burger.

What's the most religious type of cheese?

Swiss cheese - it's so holy.

Cheese has holes.

The more cheese you have, the more holes you have.

The more holes you have, the less cheese you have.

Conclusion: The more cheese you have, the less cheese you have.

When should you keep an eye on your cheese?

When it's up to no Gouda.

I was eating some cheese and crackers that were left over from Christmas yesterday.

The cheese was nice but I couldn't finish the crackers...

I almost choked on a plastic moustache and some miniature dice.

What hotel do mice stay in?

The Stilton.

What do you call flying cheese?

Curds of prey.

What's a pirate's favorite cheese?

Chedd-AARRR!

The A-Team are cooking in the kitchen one day. Mr T mixes eggs and cream. Face cooks some broccoli. And Murdoch grates some cheese.

Then Hannibal walks in with a pastry case and says, "I love it when a flan comes together."

What kind of cheese sounds like a royal duck?

Quark.

What do you call alcoholic cheese?

Livarot.

We've found a few mice in our house over the last few weeks so I set a few mouse traps the other night.

The next morning I got out of bed and went down to check the traps. I was very surprised with what I found.

I went back upstairs, jumped back into bed and said to my wife, "There are some clever mice in this area."

"Why? she asked. "Did they manage to get the cheese without springing the traps?"

I replied, "No, they didn't go near them. They're sat in the living room playing Scrabble."

Which is a beaver's favorite cheese?

e-Dam.

Why did the clown leave the cheese circus?

Because he couldn't get his Stilt-on.

This guy walks into the sandwich shop and says, "Cheese sandwich please".

The guy behind the counter says, "With relish?"

The first guy replies "Why, I would just love one of your delicious cheese sandwiches, my good man"

My friend is so vegan he won't even have his photograph taken in case he has to say, "Cheese".

Would a smoked cheese grow on a tree?

No, but an Applewood.

I find 'the difference between chalk and cheese' is significantly greater when playing snooker.

What is a lion's favorite cheese?

Roar-quefort.

I took a photograph of a mouse today.

He didn't say "Cheese" but I could tell he was thinking it.

My nan choked to death on a piece of cheese.

Now I can't have my photo taken without bursting into tears.

I was up to my knees in cheese spread the other day.

That's the last time I walk the streets of Philadelphia.

I bought a purple cheese grater today.

I didn't even know you could get purple cheese.

Cheese Jokes & Cheese Puns

If you enjoyed our funny cheese jokes and puns, check out the rest of our site for lots more funny jokes and humor, including our banana jokes and our popsicle jokes. as well as these:

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