Funny Boob Jokes And Puns
Boob jokes are the breast jokes! So we've juggled our options and decided to rack up a huge collection of funny boob jokes and puns just for you.
Yes, we're going to milk these for all they're worth!
We hope you enjoy these boob jokes...
"Really?" she said. "Go on then... Try."
After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose patience.
"Come on," she demanded, "What day was I born on?"
"Yesterday?" I replied.
The woman is confused and asks, "Why talk to me?"
The guy says, "Because every time I talk to a woman with breasts like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere."
In fact, she'd wipe the floor with them.
It's expected to be a huge moneymaker, on the grounds that when ladies develop another breast, men will need another hand.
The "B" is the aerial view, the "oo" is the front view, the "b" is the side view.
Every time I hear it, I feel like should put my breast in an envelope and send it to somebody.
They were both originally made for kids, but dad ends up playing with them.
She tries shop after shop trying to find a size 28A yet she can't get one anywhere.
Finally, in desperation, she tries her fortunes in a little unmentionables shop run by an woman who's hard of hearing.
"Have you got anything in size 28A?" asks the young woman.
"What was that, dear?" says the old woman.
The young woman repeats herself again.
Still the old woman can't hear her, so the young woman lifts up her T-shirt baring her breasts and says, "Have you got anything for these?"
The old woman peers at the womans's boobs and says, "No, dear. Have you tried Clearasil?"
"If we don't get some support here people are going to think we're nuts."
Her husband suggests she rub bathroom tissue between them instead.
"How will that make my breasts bigger?" asks the woman.
"I don't have a clue," replies her husband, "But it worked for your ass."
"You go on a head, I'll give these two a lift."
She was thrown out by the bouncers.
So that men would talk to them.
Because you could fit another pair of boobs there.
It's Braille for "Suck here".
Put a nipple on it.
A faux pair.
I was staring at her boobs when she said, "Would you please press 1, please?"
So I did.
I don't remember much after that.
When you take it off you wonder where her boobs went.
Boobs don't have eyes.
He places a stethoscope against her chest and says, "Big breaths."
She says, "Yeth, thir, and I'm only thixteen."
Neither are recommended for the beach and both come in different absorbency levels.
A cop was approaching from about a block away, thinking to himself, "Boy, my eyes must be going. It looks like that woman is hanging out of her blouse."
But, as he got closer, it became apparent that she really was hanging out her blouse.
When the officer got face to face with the woman, he said, "Miss, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
"Why, officer?" the woman asked.
"Well," said the officer, "Your right breast is hanging out of your blouse."
The woman quickly looked down and screamed, "Oh my God! I left my baby on the bus!"
You're my breast friend.
Her boobs were too big for B shells.
She wasn't happy when I came back with a push up bra.
To make suckers out of men.
Since this doesn't seem possible, the girl is intrigued and accepts the bet.
So the guy steps up, cups his hands around her breasts and jiggles them up and down.
With a baffled look, the girl says, "Hey, you touched my boobs."
The guy replies, "Yeah, I owe you a dollar."
She forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
A company spokesperson declared this is a major breakthrough, as women are always complaining about men staring at their boobs without listening to them.
You open it and it's half empty.
"So you can," she said. "Do I need to wear a bra?"
I said, "Yeah, either that or a longer dress."
Though to be fair, the guy who conducted the study admits he wasn't really listening.
The first morning they have breakfast in bed and the wife says, "My dear, this is so romantic. My breasts feel all warm and tingly."
"I'm not surprised." replies her husband, "One's hanging in your coffee and the other's lying on my bacon!"
When they got a KFC bucket.
She entered a wet T-shirt competition and came first and third.
Having no girlfriend and boobs.
She's got far too many CDs.
I thought they were big, bouncy and sexy.
She thought I looked like a woman.
Boob Jokes & Puns
If you liked our funny boob jokes and puns, check out the breast of our site for lots more sex jokes, including these: